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“So you’re sleeping with her but you’re not a hooker even though she’s giving you money?”
“Well, yes.” I know it sounds crazy.
“Do you like her?” Her tone isn’t judgmental, just understanding. Like she’s trying her hardest to understand where I’m coming from.
“I do, I like her a lot.”
“Well, have you told her that?”
“No.”
“Don’t you think maybe you should?”
“If I do, then I definitely lose my job.”
“But think about what you might gain.”
“You mean Dylan?”
“Yeah, I mean I know I only saw you two together for a few minutes but it is clear that woman is in love with you. Say what you want but actions speak louder than words and she’s clearly into you.”
“Oh.” I am shocked by this revelation.
“I’m not telling you what to do, and I can’t say that I entirely understand, but I do want you to be happy. So if that’s with this woman, who cares how you met or how you got together. If you love each other then you should be together.”
“Thank you.” I smile. She is saying all the right things but I wish I knew how Dylan felt about me. Of course I could take Reagan’s word for it but she barely knows Dylan. I will have to face my fears and talk to her myself, preferably sooner rather than later.
The rest of lunch is quiet, I think Reagan is still processing everything I told her and I am processing everything she told me. After lunch we walk together to the tree. I haven’t seen it this year besides in passing on my way to Dylan’s apartment but I knew it was worth it to come see. Every year they try to outdo themselves with a bigger and better tree.
“Shit, that’s a big ass tree,” Reagan says and a nearby mom shushes her for cursing so close to her child. We both laugh and stand near the ice skating rink, looking over at the tourists paying fifty dollars to go ice skating in a fishbowl. If you can’t tell, I am not a fan of how many people invade the city at the holidays.
“It is.” I chuckle.
“All right, show me more of the city. We have trees in Seaside,” Reagan says with a shrug. I laugh at how similar we are sometimes and how we can be each other’s total opposites at other times.
“We can walk along 5thAve and look at the shops?” I suggest.
“I love window shopping.” She rolls her eyes.
“Okay, well we could go to Central Park and kill some time before the show later.”
“What show?”
“I got us tickets to see the Christmas spectacular show later,” I explain.
“The show with the dancers? Ooo, that sounds like fun!” She smiles.
“I thought we could grab some drinks beforehand to enjoy it a little more,” I add.
“YES! Let’s see what the New York City bar life is like! It has to be better than the two bars that Seaside has,” she says with a scoff.
“It definitely is, why don’t we go to Puzzles and then the show? I’m sure Puzzles has some kind of festive drinks on the menu for us to try.”
“Yes!” Reagan cheers and I know she hasn’t had many nights out since Leanne was born.
We head to Puzzles on the subway and Reagan gets hit on by a stranger I have to scare away with my mace. Reagan looks horrified and it takes a lot for her to look scared. The bar is crowded for a Saturday night so it’s hard to find somewhere to sit but we manage to order two Santa Daddies drinks. We have no idea what’s inside them but they taste delicious and we both down two more before leaving. The show isn’t far from the bar, so we take a cab and make our way through the seas of families bringing their children to the show for the first time.
I’ve never seen it before and neither has Reagan but by the time the show actually starts we’re both too drunk to remember it. I recall a lot of legs and dancing but that’s about it. I make sure we both get home safe and I put my sister to bed with a garbage can next to her bed just in case. I shower off the day and stumble into the bedroom where Dylan is already fast asleep. I can hear her light snores and her heavy breathing. Her body is more covered than usual, I’m guessing because my sister is visiting, and I take the opportunity to strip down to nothing.
