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I can't think about him or what he did just hours—days?—earlier. I can't remember how he came all over my tits and made me feel like the most important thing to him in the world during that moment. Feelings like that are dangerous.
Focus! Get the key!
"I know you're awake, Firefly," he tells me, blowing hot air down the side of my face.
I open my eyes to glare at him, but I find him already staring at me, looking less than entertained.
"Sleep well?" he asks me. I can already tell from his tone that it's the only pleasantry I'm getting from him this time.
"I hate it here," I say to him. "Let me go."
He cocks his head at me. "You know I can't do that, baby girl, not unless you see your worth yet." He looks at the untouched food and says, "And by the looks of it, you don't."
I prop myself up on my elbow, glaring at him and trying to ignore how close we are.
Focus, Avery! Get out of here!
"What do you want from me?!" I demand.
He leans forward, swallowing the space between us.
"I don't want," he murmurs. "Ineed, baby girl, and I need it all, your every thought, breath, and heartbeat. I need everything, and I need it devoted to me."
He shouldn't say those words. He shouldn't say any words like that because they heat my skin, steal my breath, and stop my heart mid-beat. Words like that give girls like me false hope. I don't want false hope. False hope equates to broken promises and pain. No attachments and no intimacy means leaving my heart intact.
"You put me in a filthy, disgusting room and expect me to see my worth?" I cackle at him, but there's no amusement in it. "You're treating me like trash. You have to know how ironic that is, right?"
"No," he leans in close, so close I can smell the peppermint lingering on his breath. Did he chew gum before he came down here, or is it already morning? This shit is already screwing with my head. "I'm treating you like you treat yourself. You lock yourself in your little world, and you refuse to interact with the rest of us. You haven't made a single friend since you arrived here, Avery. Why is that? Do you think you're better than us? Or do you think you're not worth it? Which one is it?"
"None of your business," I snap.
He slides a cigarette out of his pocket and lights up, taking a long drag.
"How about your worth?" I bark back at him. "You sit there sucking down cancer sticks. If you saw your worth, you wouldn't be trying to kill yourself, would you? You hate yourself just as much as I hate myself."
His glare slides to me. "Avery, shut the fuck up. You have no idea what you're talking about."
I don't care that he's right.
I don't want to listen to him any longer.
I want him to feel how I feel: disgusted and angry.
I sit up in bed.
"No, let's talk about you," I deadpan.
"You're angry," he cuts those unreal dark eyes to me again. There's something dangerous in his gaze, some threat I can't quite read. Still, I don't back down. I want to push all of his buttons until he redlines and starts to spark. He takes another suck out of his cigarette and blows smoke rings into the air.
"What makes you so weak that you can't control your noise by yourself?" I demand. "You say you need me to do it, whatever that means, but it's pretty pathetic that you can't cope with it at this point, right? Like are you stupid or just so self-absorbed that you think everyone should bow down and do as you command? Well, I got news for you, sunshine. Wear some headphones because whatever shit you hear in your head is a you problem, not a me problem. I don't give a fuck about helping you."
"You're one to talk," he hisses. "You're so fucked up you can't even eat, Avery, so don't you dare sit there and pretend you don't belong here with me."
A flush warms his cheek, and the boy who loves the flame burns with his anger as I lean in closer.
"Yeah, but at least I don't pretend to be better than everyone else like you do," I snarl back at him. "I don't walk around doing whatever I want like I'm a god. They got your name wrong, you know? You aren't an archangel,Gabriel. You're as fucked up and as human as the rest of us. And I'm betting you can't stand knowing you are as worthless as we are and that your parents locked you up in here."
He roars, picking up the lantern and throwing it against the cell wall. It shatters and sparks fly everywhere as he strides to the cell door and hurriedly leaves, locking the door back behind him. I move to follow him, but the world sways, and I sit back down on the bed.
