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“What the fuck, Syd? Why would you say that?” Massi looks at me as if I’m deranged. Not the first time he’s given me that look either.
“I’m just saying. It’s weird they suddenly insist on a regular family get-together, and Dad used the life-is-too-short phrase.” I continue loading the dishwasher.
Maybe I’m just being unnecessarily negative. Pessimism has been my virtue since my husband died. And it didn’t improve with the current state of my relationship. If there is one. I groan inwardly.
“I don’t know. I think it’s a good idea to spend more time together regardless of the motivation. When they’re ready to tell us, they will tell us.”
“Tell you what?” Bianca walks in with a tray full of glasses.
“If either of you is dying,” Massi deadpans.
She flinches. It’s almost untraceable, but it’s there. On the other hand, it’s a statement any normal person would react to with disdain.
I glare at Massi. Asshole. Nobody in this family understands the word discretion.
“We all will die one day.” Bianca leaves the tray on the counter and opens the fridge. I can’t help but think she is trying to avoid us.
When she turns back she is all business, her typical pleasant, but strict, matriarchal countenance firmly in place. “Syd, why don’t you see who else would like some coffee?”
I return to the deck. The men are talking on the side with Paris. London and Sebastien are on their phones, so I sit beside Gina.
“Your first big Cassinetti/Lowe event. How are you coping?” I pluck a grape from a plate in front of us.
“I was a bit worried at first. I’ve been practically alone most of my life and this is intimidating, but great at the same time.” She smiles at me, her hands in her lap. No, no. Not in her lap.
I’ll fish. “Your boobs look bigger.” I vividly remember the night she lost the baby, and given the circumstances of her second pregnancy this would be such amazing news. Even a pessimistic skeptic like me would rejoice.
Her eyes widen, but she bites her lip. “Wow, subtle. We were planning to announce it today, but somehow we didn’t get to it with everything else going on.”
“So Massi getting the stars is more important?” I tease. I’m happy for them. And I try to push my own complicated situation to the side. Relationships like Massi and Gina are simply not meant for me.
“In this moment, yes.” She beams. “And we might just enjoy this news”—she rubs her belly—“for a little longer between the two of us.”
“My lips are sealed.” I stand up. “I was sent to take your coffee orders,” I announce to the group.
“It’s not normal she’s still alone.” Bianca’s voice reaches me as I approach the kitchen. They both have their backs to the door, so I stop and listen. I shouldn’t, but I suspect they are talking about me and I can’t help it.
“Stop meddling, Mom. You got me off your list, so now you’re moving to your next victim,” Massi says.
“Don’t you give me that attitude, son. If I didn’t drag you to Gina’s father’s wake or call Phillip to suggest he hire her to help you, you wouldn’t be all settled and happy.”
“You told Phillip to hire Gina?” The shock in Massi’s voice is kind of amusing.
“I told him there was someone who could help you in your career.” Bianca wipes the counter, speaking like Massi is still a boy. “There is a woman behind every successful man.”
“Well, I guess, thank you, Mother, but I still think you should leave Sydney alone.”
So theyweretalking about me.
“It’s not normal to grieve her late husband for six years now.”
My stomach squeezes.
If only she knew it’s not my late husband I long for.
