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Clem meowed at my feet, so I bent down and picked her up. As I straightened, Saoirse emerged from her office, striding toward me with a worried pinch in her brow.
“Hey. You look like you need to sit down.” Cupping the back of my neck, she placed a soft, lingering kiss on my lips. “Come sit down with me.”
“You never moved all your things here.”
Her head canted, the pinch in her brow deepening. “What do you mean?”
“Miles wants me to remind you to move your things out of your apartment. You never really moved in here.”
“Well, yes. I left some of my belongings there since we still had the place for a while—”
“And you had one foot out the door this entire time.”
“No. That isn’t true. I uprooted myself to move intoyourplace. We barely knew each other then. I left a few things there, but my foot isn’t out the door.” She put her hand on top of mine, which was on Clem’s back. I looked down at our woven fingers, feeling no comfort. “Can we go sit down? I know you have to be exhausted from today, and I want to—”
“Where are your rings?”
“What?” Her wide eyes flicked from mine to her hand. “Oh, I don’t know. I guess I forgot to put them on this morning.”
I had to put Clem down on the floor before I lost it. I’d been on the edge when I walked in. Pressure coming at me from all sides. Expectations I had no choice but to meet. Saoirse told me just last night she’d be my soft place to land, but there was nothing comforting about knowing the woman I loved could easily walk out the door whenever she wanted. Hell, she was only halfway here, even now.
“I haven’t taken my ring off since we got married.”
She touched her forehead. “I’m sorry. It was an accident. You know I normally wear them, but things have been out of the ordinary lately and it slipped my mind.”
“All day.”
Her lips pursed like she’d sucked on something sour. “Yes, apparently so. I spent my day fretting for you, and when I wasn’t doing that, I was texting you, or Miles was talking me out of getting in my car to go to you.”
“Miles? Did you tell him what’s going on?”
Suddenly, I couldn’t stand that he’d been here with her. He got parts of her I didn’t. While I’d been watching my sister’s world fall apart, he’d been making her laugh.
I had no say in it. She could do what she wanted, and I’d be expected to carry on. Hold it all together.
“No, of course not.” She stepped into me and clutched my folded arms. “Luca, please. Come sit down. Let me get you a drink and we can talk about this. Or whatever you want, I just—”
“When the two years are over, do you still plan to walk away from me?”
The plea in her eyes and the thin line her lips pressed into gave me my answer.
“I don’t—why are we talking about this now?” She cupped the side of my neck and pressed her chest to my arms. “Neither of us knows what will happen, but I don’t want to be anywhere else but here. I want to be with you, Luca. Isn’t that enough?”
“Do you love me?”
She nodded sharply, immediately. “I do. I love you very much. Do you love me?”
“Madly.” My jaw rippled with everything I was holding back. “Which is why I’m ending our agreement.”
She sucked in a harsh breath. “Why does loving me mean the end of our agreement?”
Unfolding my arms, I took her face in my hands. “Because you’re my wife. That’s real to me, and fuck, maybe it always has been, but I can’t go on loving you like this if I don’t have any guarantees. I have to know I’m your husband in every sense of the word. Tell me our marriage is real to you.”
“Luca,” she breathed. “This isn’t the time.”
“No.” I dropped her face, taking a step back. “You said it’s your job to make my life easier. Well…this is it. I’m asking for your promise that this is real to you. No more agreement. It’s me and you, husband and wife.”
She turned her head, but not before her eyes filled with tears. I knew what the answer would be before I asked, but knowing and seeing it live and in color were two different things.
