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I frowned at him then. "Gabe, we can't. Oversight and…"
"Yeah well, Ops Command can't be with his agents. But guess what… A director can. I'm no longer your commanding officer. You have been moved from my direct line of command. Or well, I removed myself."
I blinked rapidly. "You did that so we could be together?"
"Well, I did this for me as well as you. I don't enjoy the bureaucracy. I don't need the bullshit. I fucked up with us. I should never have put you in the position I put you in. We had a mission to complete, and I interfered. And then I made you a target because I craved you. I’d wanted you for so long. I tried to stay away, keep you safe, but… I cracked. Which is so fucked up. Now, about the shit with Kira…"
I shook my head. "Listen, Kira was going to be Kira. There was nothing you could have done to stop that. If it wasn't this, it would have been something else. Some other way to get back at me and show that she hated me."
"She doesn't hate you. She loves you in her own way."
"Maybe. But she's bitter. She thinks that everything is my fault."
"And you have nothing but time to change her mind because she'll be stuck here. You’ll go and see her, right?"
I shook my head. "I haven't decided that yet. But that's not the point. I want to talk about what you did."
"Oh yeah, back to that. I made a lot of mistakes. When you first came here, I should have removed you from my direct line of command, but I needed control of the situation, so I kept you on my team. Torturing both of us. I interfered with your life. I never should have done it, but I couldn't let you go. I couldn't let someone else have you."
"That's not fair, Gabe. You never gave me a chance to explore my feelings. To let me get to know the real you and decide."
"I know. But then I fell in love with you in all the small moments we shared. Against my better judgment. There you were under my skin with every laugh, every argument, every time you annoyed me or challenged me. Those were the moments I fell in love with you. But I was just holding on to the past, holding on to what my father said to me before he died, and I couldn’t let that go. I was trying to control everything and everyone, and I’m done with that now.
“Besides, I'm not going anywhere. I'm a director. I'll advise Saff, but she is the Heir, and she's meant to sit on that seat. Besides, she's better at bureaucracy than I am. And I finally understand what’s going to make me happy. You. Even if you don't love me.” He grinned. “Which is ridiculous because, have you seen me? My dick is fucking huge. Also, I believe you said the abs don't hurt and the face is quite nice."
I laughed and rolled my eyes at him.
He chuckled low but then turned serious. "The point is, without you none of it felt worth it. Being in command isn't what makes me happy. It's being near you. And even if you say no, I'm a better person when I don't have to lock everything down like I had to do as Command. I'm tired of the lying, and the sneaking, and the double-meanings, and the manipulations. I don't have to do that part anymore."
I laughed and shook my head. "You're an idiot. You didn't have to quit."
"It's better that I quit. I'm still here, and I'm not going anywhere. I'll just take orders from my little sister now."
"Are you going to be able to do that?"
"Surprisingly easy, I think. When you're happier, you don't need to have as much control."
I sighed. "I love you."
He nodded, and a slow grin spread across his beautiful face. "Oh yeah, I know. I just love hearing you say it."
"For the love of God, Gabe, I love you. I love you. But if you ever scare me like this again, I will kill you myself."
He grinned. "Just like Seagal, I'm hard to kill."
Despite myself, a bark of laughter tumbled out of my lips. "Oh Jesus Christ, what am I going to do with you?"
"Love me. It would be easier that way. Oh also, I called Riley and filled him in. He’s on his way. He’ll be here tomorrow."
"God, I love you. But one of these days, I might just kill you in your sleep."
"You could try, but you love me, so you won't."
His eyes drifted closed then, and his breathing became more even. He was exhausted, and I brushed a lock of hair away from his face as he slept. He was mine. He was here and he was mine. I muttered under my breath, "You're hard to kill and all mine to love."
46
Tabatha
