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He grabbed the handle of the door, and then stepped back to hold it open for a statuesque harpy exiting. His head tipped and the hood fell back and—
And it wasn't Khell at all. The orc's hair was short and inky black, and his jawline looked like an axehead, all wide and sharp. My chest panged so roughly, I fell back into the chair, aware of the glare of the elfish girl at my feet and Natalie’s slack jaw, her eyes drifting to what caught my attention.
"I'm an idiot," I said before she could think it.
"You're not," Natalie said.
"You need to hold still," the girl at my feet muttered.
"Right, sorry," I squeezed out of collapsing lungs.
Because I was not going to see Khell out on the streets of Chicago. Millions of people lived in this city and plenty of them were big, handsome orcs. I couldn't freeze like a deer in headlights every time I saw one.
I was shaking in the chair, still yearning to throw myself out, to charge across the busy traffic of Clark Street, to reach out to that orc as if I could tear his mask away and reveal the one I wanted to see.
"Babe," Natalie said gently.
"I'll be okay," I answered.
"No, look at me."
I watched the girl at my feet instead for several minutes. She pulled the towel away and cupped lotion into her palms, rubbing it into the soles of my feet, my calves, my toes. She was thorough and strong, and it did feel nice, but it wasn't the touch I was craving.
Finally, I looked up at Natalie, her expression soft and worried.
"Maybe it wasn't just the serotonin," Natalie said.
I blinked back the new wave of tears that tried to rise and shook my head. "I don't think it was. What do I do, Natalie?"
She shrugged. "What do you want to do?"
I bit my lip to keep from spitting out the immediate, absurd answer. "Something really stupid," I said instead.
Natalie laughed. "Will it make you happy?"
"Probably only temporarily," I admitted.
Natalie hummed at that. "Well, look. We'll take doing something stupid once for temporary happiness. And then we'll come back and reevaluate after, okay?"
My grin was wobbling, but it was there at least. "Okay. Hi, so sorry, I just need to step away for a minute, is that okay?" I asked my pedicurist.
Her eyes rolled, but she stuffed flimsy flip-flops onto my feet and leaned back so I could move, grabbing my phone out of my purse with shaking fingers.
I hadn't saved the number, but it came up with a quick search online.
"Monster Smash Agency, how can we help you?"
"Hi, this is, um, Sonya Bancroft, and I was interested in…booking a follow-up."
"Just one moment, Ms. Bancroft, let me transfer you to your agent."
There was a brief trill of static and music on the other line before it cut out.
"Sonya! It's good to hear from you again!" The chipper, bright voice of the succubus Astraeya was eager in my ear. "What can I do for you?"
My mouth was open, but it took me a long moment to speak. Was I really going to do this? I had the money…for now, but not enough saved to really justify spending it on something like this. What if this only put a pause on the problem? What if I became addicted to Khell?
As if my tongue knew my brain might deny me this moment, I spoke in a rush. "I'd like to book a night. With my partner from before."
