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“Go to sleep, bud.” I patted his shoulder. “You need your rest.”
“Can I come?”
“No. Go to bed. Everything’s going to be okay. I’ll see you in the morning.”
The police station was quick. They knew Nick at this point. I paid the three-hundred-dollar fine for the his latest crime — vandalism — with the money I’d earmarked for Christina. The officer remarked on how much we looked alike and told him he was lucky to have a big brother who took care of him. That he was lucky he was under eighteen and for the next infraction, he’d be facing juvenile court. That he should follow my example. Nick was swaggering and cheerful in the station, sullen in the car. He didn’t say thank you.
“Don’t ever do this again,” I told him when we got home.
“Yeah?” he snarled. “You gonna get on my case about my curfew next? Myallowance?”
“If I need to.”
He sauntered ahead of me into the kitchen, filling the doorway with his shoulders, and swiped the bills off the table. “Cool, Dad left money. It’s been awhile. I’d hate to have to turn to shoplifting. It’s bad for my record.”
I didn’t correct him. I had a feeling Nick knew where that money really came from.
“Leave some for Eddie,” I ordered. He grunted and dropped two of the bills on the table. “And save the rest. You’re not going anywhere this weekend.”
“‘Scuse me?”
“You’re grounded.”
“Are you out of your fucking mind? You’re not in charge here.”
I walked up to him and got in his face. “You want me to tell Dad what happened tonight? That you’ll go to jail if you screw up again?”
“He doesn’t care!” A vein bulged in Nick’s neck. He jabbed a finger in my chest. His blue eyes were too bright and hectic. Looking at Nick was like looking at a younger version of myself, without the brakes. All the destructive impulses acted on instead of hidden. “You don’t care either. You just pretend to so you can control us.”
Turning to leave, he kicked the sketchpad I’d left by the wall.
I grabbed the pad and held it tight. It was instinct. Nick’s eyes flickered, and quick as lightning, he yanked the pad out of my grasp and flipped up the cover.
“Holy shit.” He stared at the charcoal sketch of Christina’s naked body. “Who’sthat?”
I slapped the cover down and wrested the pad from him. Nick made a grab for it again.
“This is yours? You drew that? Who is she?”
I couldn’t blame him for reacting. I’d sketched Christina a lot over the past few weeks, and the drawings weren’t the sexless nudes you’d do in an art class. They were right after we fucked, and it showed on every inch of her skin. She was shameless now. Magnetic.
“That’s not your concern.”
“Come on, man.” He spread his arms wide. “Not my concern? You’re here all the time now, you try to get involved with us after a year of no fucking communication, you make usyourconcern, but everything about you is off-limits?”
“My life is private.”
“Private?Shit, there’s privacy, and then there’s you leaving the country and disappearing!” He grabbed my shirt. “Since when are you a goddamnartistwho draws naked chicks? What are you doing in this expensive shirt? Who paid for it? Who the hell are you? You tell us nothing, and you expect us to follow your rules?” He smacked my shoulder, hard, and tried to wrestle the sketchpad away from me.
Red flared in front of my eyes. I threw the pad on the table and pushed him against the wall. “What do you mean, ‘us?’ You only care about yourself. You don’t look out for Eddie, you don’t look out for Dad—”
“They’re fine! Christ, Eddie’s fifteen. He only acts like a baby becauseyoutreat him like one.”
As if he’d heard his name, Eddie appeared in the doorway.
“What’s wrong?” His eyes were big in his thin face.
“Nothing.” I released Nick, who glared at me. “Everything’s fine. Go to sleep.”
