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“It’s fine,” I assured her. “If you don’t mind my asking… What happened?”
“You mean, why we broke up? Oh, it happened naturally. He was leaving for Italy, I was doing a semester in London, and we decided to end things before we left. Totally amicable. That was the one thing that was kind of — meh.” She waved her hand back and forth. “We never argued, which was great, but in the bedroom—” she lowered her voice, glancing around — “the passion wasn’t really there. Sometimes it seemed like he was somewhere else, even when he was right there with me. God, I can’t believe I’m going on like this!” She clutched her forehead. “You’re so easy to talk to. But I don’t want to be that obnoxious ex-girlfriend—”
I squeezed her hand. “You’re not.”
Marcus pulled apart from Amelia, blinking at us both with a heavy-lidded smile.
“This is Jess,” I said. “She writes forThe Lighthouse. She’s going to have a brilliant career as a journalist.”
“What about you?” she asked. “What are you going to do when you graduate?”
“I’m a junior.” I rattled the ice in my cup. “I’ve got time. Right now, the plan is to never worry about money again.”
Amelia snorted. “Good luck.”
Marcus rummaged in his bag, opened a packet, and held out some cigarettes to us.
“Oh, I don’t smoke.” Jess waved them away.
“These aren’t your typical cigarettes. They’re extra.” He lit one and held it out. “Christina?”
“What the hell is in these?” I eyed him through the curling smoke.
“Don’t ask. Just experience.”
“Listen,Marky,”I began. Amelia cut me a look.
“Do you trust me?”
I blew out a breath, snatched the cig from him, and inhaled. Sweetish, herbal. Amelia took one and lay back. Jess looked uncertain.
“Just try.” Marcus smiled at her. “We’re all friends here.”
“Let her be.” I touched Jess’s arm. Suddenly, I felt protective of her. I didn’t know why. She was smart and about to graduate and could probably take care of herself just fine. Maybe it was because she’d dated Patrick without any idea of who he really was.
She eyed the cig in my hand, clearly torn. “There isn’t that much more of college…”
“You can try some of mine if you want.”
Leaning forward, she took a hesitant drag and inhaled deeply. “Okay, yeah, that’s nice. Not harsh.”
Marcus waved his cig cherry in the air. “Would I give you something harsh?”
The air diffused. The sounds of the concert mellowed and expanded. Jess was giggling, leaning against me as we passed the cigarette back and forth. Was it weed? It didn’t feel exactly like weed. I was melting, puddling onto the blanket, holding someone’s hand.
“Jess?” I asked. “Am I holding your hand?”
“I think so.”
“You’re so nice,” I sighed. “I really like you.”
“I like you too,” she giggled. “Let’s be friends.”
“Everything’s changing. I don’t know what to do about my life. “
“That’s okay. Who does? I don’t either.”
“You’re gonna do great.” I squeezed her hand. “You shouldn’t lose any sleep.”
