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“Goddammit,” I hissed.
“I had to tell you.” Caution edged Nick’s voice.
I leaned a hand on the nearest tall object — a streetlamp.How is she,I wanted to ask.Did she sound okay?
“What does she want?”
“She wanted…” he broke off. “She wants us to visit her this summer. At the beginning of June. I told her I had to talk to you.”
“What’s there to talk about? If you feel like going, go.” I heard my own voice, cold enough to freeze the warm spring air.
“I need you to decide.” Nick’s swagger was gone. He sounded reedy, unsure. “If you think it’s a good idea, we’ll do it. I can’t decide this shit.”
“So you get a stick up your ass if I lecture you about your behavior, but you need me to decide if you’re going to visit your mom?”
“Ourmom,” he said pointedly. “And it’s ifwe’regoing to visit. I’m not going by myself. She asked for all three of us.”
I exhaled, pacing the length of the building. No sign of Christina. She wasn’t on the path around the corner. She was nowhere. As if I’d dreamed the past twenty minutes.
“The beginning of June. It’s not convenient for me.”
“That’s all you can say? It’s notconvenient?”
“It’s the truth.”
“Well, it’s the only time. Me and Eddie have school till then. If I skip any more, they won’t let me graduate. And—”
“And what?”
“She’s leaving the country right after. That’s why she wants us to visit. Sounds a lot like you.”
I stared up at the night sky, dotted with stars. I was alone on this corner of campus. Keeping company with the trees, the heartless stone buildings and fluorescent lights. I felt like a foreigner.
“She called the landline?”
“No, my cell. She’d never run the risk of Dad picking up. I don’t think they’ve talked since…” He trailed off.
“Why’d she call you and not me?”
“You know why.”
My jaw clenched. “What do you remember? You were just a kid.”
“We were all kids.” His voice rose. “What the hell does that have to do with anything?”
A cheer rose from the direction of the quad, the sound of a thousand people having fun.
“Don’t say anything to Eddie yet,” I said slowly. “It’s expensive. Three plane tickets.”
“She’d help. Or Dad—”
“Hell, no. If we go, I pay. She can’t afford it, and no way are you asking Dad.”
“How do you know she can’t afford it? Have you talked to her once in the past four years?” Silence hung. “Just decide this, okay?” His voice broke. “I can’t. Either way, I don’t care, just take charge.”
He hung up.
“Nick—” I said out loud.
