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“Yes.”
“In Italy?” I guessed.
He sighed.“I spent my last two months there living from bottle to bottle, alone and drowning in my own self-pity.”
“Poor baby.” I twisted in his arms and pressed my lips to his shoulder. “Do you…want to talk about it?”
“There was a woman,” he said flatly. “Older. Well-off. Empty inside. I thought she was everything I’d ever wanted. She opened my eyes, taught me about art and culture. How to paint, how to cook. She took me in, paid for my life. I was obsessed. I thought I could finally be myself with a girl. But she always wanted more savagery to fill her emptiness. When she cheated on me in the end, it wasn’t like the lizard and your “friend” sneaking around, feeling so naughty. She rubbed it in my face because she wanted to push me over the edge. And she succeeded.”
Jesus. No wonder, after Patrick had walked in on his mom.
I held him tight. He dug his fingers into my back, then spread his hands over my skin.
“I found myself in Rome. That’s still true. I fell so fucking hard for that city, but it took a long time to separate the city from her.”
“You did, though.”
He nodded. His breath stirred the nape of my neck.
“Christina…” His voice was so soft. “Babe. I’m sorry.”
“For what, exactly?”
“Hiding. You've stripped naked for me so many times, and I refused to do the same. I insisted you bare yourself to me more and more. I thoughtIwas being so fucking honest.”
“Wasn't that the whole point of having a companion?” I asked lightly.
He sighed. “I told myself my life was private and had nothing to do with you. I didn’t want any overlap. But it had everything to do with you.”
I tickled his broad forearm. He pulled me closer. “Tell me something I don't know about you,” I said.
“Anything?”
“Yep. It doesn’t have to be sexy or scary or dramatic. In fact, tell me something boring.”
“I really love economics.”
“Oh?”
He ran one finger around my navel. “When I was in high school, I probably did moan about it in my sleep and hump my pillow, just like you hoped for.”
“Okay,nowyou're lying. I won't have that, Patrick.”
He chuckled. “It's rational, it's structured, but there are variables. Wild cards. And when it comes down to the line, it's about, what do people want? How much is that worth to them? What are they willing to pay for it?”
“Everything has its price.”
“Nah. You're priceless.”
His palm flattened over my stomach, and I sucked in a breath. I was very aware that I was in my panties and he was dressed. The underside of my breasts grazed his arm every time I exhaled.
“Tell me something you love, Christina.”
“You,” I blurted. “I love you. You already know everything else.”
The room was very quiet. The darkness waited. Fear bubbled up at being honest with Patrick. But I'd done it so many times, I couldn't be any other way.
I took a deep breath to calm myself. Patrick's arm was motionless around my waist, his body molded to mine. The only movement was his heart, pounding faster.
