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“Alexis—” I fingered the heart on my necklace. “I can’t do Friday. Let’s look at dresses Saturday morning and go out that night.”
“I can’t. I’m sorry, baby. I’m seeing Daniel Saturday night. You know how it is, being long distance. I feel bad that I’m basically squeezing him in. Change your plans for Friday?”
“Can’t.”
“Christina, Sydney will survive without you for one Friday night.”
I nibbled my bottom lip. Thiswasher wedding, and shewasmy sister.
I just didn’t want to cancel.
“I’m — seeing someone.” I leaned my head against the wall. “Friday nights are kind of our thing.”
“A boy?” Her voice exploded with joy. “I’m so happy for you! Why didn’t you tell me?”
“It’s pretty new. We’re just getting to know each other.”
Lies had a taste. Flat, metallic. I’d never noticed it before, because I was so fucking accustomed to pretending.
Alexis was picturing a beautiful new love. A flower just starting to open. If she knew the truth, she’d cry.
“Look — I’ll drive down super early and get there first thing Saturday morning. We’ll have the whole day together. It’ll be perfect. You’ll look so hot in all the dresses, the store will want to give them to you for free.”
“Oh, please.” She laughed. “You’re too sweet.”
“You deserve only good things.”
We did air kisses and hung up. Petal, asleep now, was a black puddle on my bed. I turned out the lights and joined her.
There was a softness to the dark in my room, like an old blanket turned into a tent. It enfolded me. I was beginning to understand why Patrick called the darkness his oldest friend.
11
When in Rome
Patrick
The words UNKNOWN CALLER flashed on my phone. This year, I’d learned to respond to a ring immediately. But since this wasn’t either of my brothers, I left it alone.
When I didn’t answer, it stopped, then started up again. I pushed it aside.
It was Friday night, a week after I flipped the lights out on Christina. In a few hours, she’d be here.
My room was immaculate. Bed made, floor clean. No sign of the tornado that would tear through once she walked in.
I hated messes, but when Christina came, I welcomed the chaos: clothes on the floor, lights on and off, a hundred different noises ripping holes in the air. Perfume seeping into every crack and lingering after she left. Crumbs in the bed from breakfast.
I’d budgeted for hiring her this semester, but I didn’t count on the extras. Quarters for all the laundry I’d do so we’d start with clean sheets, groceries to feed her appetite, time spent considering what would fuck with her the most.
I was thinking about her too much.
My phone buzzed again.
Shutting my laptop, I picked up the device. A stiff February breeze whipped through my open window as I finally registered the one person who’d ever call under a protected number.
It was 9 pm here. That would make it 3 am in Rome.
“Yes,” I said into the receiver.
