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“Why are you such an asshole?” I growled into his shoulder.
“Take the pictures down, babe. See what happens.”
15
F U Famous
Christina
I didn’t take the pictures down. But I did start running in the morning.
It began on the days I didn’t wake up in Patrick’s bed. I was getting up earlier, accustomed to his alarm set for eight each day. I was more restless at night, especially when I didn’t stay at his place. I slept lightly but jumped up when the sun rose, energy humming. It felt natural to throw on workout clothes, lace up my sneakers, and jog to the frozen lake in the center of town.
The first day, I knew I’d be sore. But I liked being alone in the early morning, and a few minutes in, I wasn’t cold anymore.
On the way back, I found myself running by the west campus gym, where the cheer squad practiced. It was almost seven-thirty, which meant they’d be finishing up soon. I jogged into the athletic center and veered toward the gym at the end of the building.
Inside the open door, the girls were busy. Sydney’s blonde ponytail swung on the far left. She was executing the jumps, but she looked a little slower than I remembered. Clumsier, holding her body less tight. Before I quit, we’d practiced together at least once a week. Syd was taller than me, but when we worked together, I had no trouble lifting her. Those practice sessions had started to fall off the wagon a few weeks before I left the squad.
Guilt pinged through me. Maybe that’s why she’d been reluctant to help when my utilities were off.
As I watched the girls get into split lifts, Grace, the assistant coach, walked behind them. Her eyebrows shot up when she saw me at the door.
I was caught. I gave her a little smile and waved.
She headed in my direction. She didn’t look delighted, but she didn’t look mad, either.
“Hey!” I said when she approached. “I was out for a morning jog and I just — stopped by. Everyone’s doing amazing.”
“Thanks, Christina.” She responded with a quick hug and a wry smile. “You see Theresa over there?”
My replacement. Basing for Sydney. She was fit and strong, but her timing was ever so slightly off now and then. Helping Sydney straighten her back leg for the split, getting Syd’s ankle off her shoulder — the moves were a fraction behind the other base. The crowd at a stadium might not notice, but I noticed, and I knew Syd would.
“I see her.”
She lowered her voice. “So you know what we’re working with. And Sydney’s struggling. She’s trying her best, but she was better when you were on the squad.”
I shook my sweaty ponytail off my neck. “We practiced together a lot.”
Grace pressed her fingers together. “Christina, listen. I’m sure you had your reasons, but you really let us down when you quit so suddenly.”
“I’m sorry.” My eyes stung. I hadn’t admitted to myself how much I missed cheering.
“What happened?” Her expression was so understanding, it killed me. “You didn’t give us much explanation. You said you were busy and didn’t want to get up early anymore. But you’re so responsible, I think there has to be more to it.”
“My grades.” The words bolted from my mouth. “My grades were bad last semester, and I would have been kicked off the squad when they came out.”
“Why didn’t you tell us?” Grace put a hand on my arm. “You could have gotten academic tutoring. We would have worked with you…”
“It wasn’t about getting tutoring,” I said quickly. “It was about not putting the effort in. I just — didn’t care.”
She studied me. “That doesn’t sound like you.”
“I’m sorry,” I repeated.
“How are your grades now?”
“Better. I’m redoing some projects from last semester, and I’m staying on top of my classes now.” I hoped.
