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JUST USE YOUR INSTINCTS, DARLING
Is it lust or love? How to tell
NEVER DOUBT THAT YOU CAN HAVE BOTH
Smiling at the memory, Sonia padded upstairs to her bedroom and added the Post-its to her wooden box. At college, she’d told Diana about her grandma’s notes, and the two of them had carried on the tradition. Apparently, Diana had told Brendan about it too. As she closed the box, Sonia’s fingers brushed the note he’d given her before the show.
Arranging the lilies on her nightstand, she lit a candle beside them. She set her phone to play low music and curled up in bed.
As the candle’s spicy scent filled the room, it flickered over the gold lipstick case on her nightstand. Sonia shifted restlessly in bed.
Finally, she picked up the lipstick and opened it, staring at the well-used crimson cylinder. Sitting up to face the mirror, she traced her lips in red and pursed them together. Instantly, she felt more powerful. The bright color played off her dark hair and eyes, making her confidence surge.
Yes. This was who she was. Not a defeated failure who’d poured every dollar and scrap of energy into a venture that might end. Not the selfish, cold-hearted girl Marco had painted her to be. She was Sonia Jacobson, who toppled buildings with the power of her body and gave no fucks.
Impulsively, she grabbed her phone and snapped a quick picture. Dressed, to start with. Just a tease.
Her tight black tank top, with no bra underneath, showed off her cleavage to full advantage. The puffy points of her nipples pushed against the fabric as she arched her back. Her thighs were carelessly spread, showing the dark shadow of her panties. One hand crept inside the waistband of those panties, pulling it downward, as she gave the camera a smoky gaze and pouted with crimson lips.
She sent it to Brendan.
Her pussy was already getting wet with anticipation. When he didn’t respond, she tossed the phone aside and paced the room, still holding the tube of lipstick.
Her lucky charm. Originally, it had belonged to her mom. In one of her better moments, Sonia’s mother had gifted her the lipstick before she left for Yale.
As a kid, she’d always been enthralled by her mother’s ability to transform into a glamorous creature of the night. Before every dance recital, she’d sneak into her mother’s makeup bag, hoping for that same power.
But eventually, the lipstick felt too heavy to carry. Part of her hoped it would be gone forever when she dropped it on the Metro. When Brendan gave it back, though, she couldn’t resist. Maybe it would bring her luck after all.
Stopping by the window, she looked out at the glittering city lights.
The dance company needed all the luck it could get. It was her life. She’d worked toward this dream for years, until it became more important than anything else — even the people she loved, if she was being honest.
Marco’s words echoed around the room:Men are just cardboard cutouts to you.
Sonia hated that he might be right.
And she hated that Brendan had offered to help.
When he’d brought it up, she’d wanted to sink into his powerful arms and let him take care of her. She longed to be utterly helpless with him. Just for a minute.
She heard his deep voice, drowning out Marco’s:So soft under that tough-girl act.
Sonia dropped onto her bed, stretching out on her back. Her hand drifted between her thighs, slipping into her panties and finding her moist cleft. It was embarrassing how hot and slick she got as she saw Brendan’s dimpled grin warming her from the inside out. Her clit throbbed under her fingers at the sound of his seductive voice. When his charm roughened into force, his strong hands pinning her in place, Sonia rolled over and shoved her face into the pillow. She squeezed her breast, imagining his palm crushing the soft swell, and frantically rubbed her clit.
“You’re going to come for me now, sunshine.” Brendan’s voice started out as steady as a coach’s, then grew hoarse with passion. “Come hard with that sweet little pussy. Show me how much you need me, like a good girl.”
Sonia cried out as she came. She was still sore from Brendan’s force last night, and shivers wracked her body as her sensitive pussy fluttered around her fingers.
“That’s it, baby,” he urged. “Let it all go. Let me take care of everything.”
“Brendan,” she moaned. But when the waves of pleasure ebbed, she still didn’t feel satisfied.
Sitting upright, Sonia stared into the mirror that hung at the foot of her bed. A sheen of sweat coated her chest and shoulders. Her nipples were swollen with desire, all her defenses down. If Brendan scaled the wall of her grandmother’s house right now and climbed through her window, she really would give him anything he wanted, dangerous as that was. She’d known since she’d dangled a sex deal in front of him that she was playing with fire.
“Calm the fuck down,” Sonia ordered her reflection. She put her hand on her chest, trying to slow her pounding heart. “Pull yourself together. He probably didn’t even mean it when he offered to help.”
Everyone lied, even those with the best of intentions. Some people made a sport of it. She had to keep reminding herself that Brendan was one of those people.
