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This wasn’t his stop, but he jogged through the doors right before they closed, waving goodbye to the two disappointed girls who stared at him through the window.
Up ahead, Sonia moved like a sleek panther through the crowd.
“Sonia!” he called. “You dropped your lipstick.”
If she heard him, she showed no sign. Sonia had always ignored him, but after her stare — hertouch— it stung Brendan.
The crowd between them was too thick to breach. As she disappeared, Brendan stared at the tube in his hand. He’d never seen lipstick on Sonia, but the warm metal smelled like her perfume. When he opened the lid, it was bright red.
He caught the next train to his stop and hurried out, clutching the lipstick. He wouldn’t try anything stupid. He’d go to his event like a good boy and get to work.
But his dick refused to go down.
When he arrived at the event location, Brendan made straight for the men’s room. He couldn’t think, couldn’t concentrate, and it was all Sonia’s fault. Locking himself in a stall, he jerked off furiously, his hand a blur on his dick. The only sound was the rasp of skin on skin.
He pictured Sonia sliding to her knees, taking his cock in one long gulp. Her soft, greedy mouth was everything he wanted. She’d be ravenous, hungering for him with every fiber of her body. Her wild eyes overtook him as she sucked him deeper, his head snug in her throat, hot and unbelievably tight.
Take my fucking cock,he thought.All the way down, beautiful, like you need it to survive. Then I’ll fuck your brains out.
It was vulgar and crude, everything he avoided with women, but it felt damn good in the face of her contempt.
And in his fantasy, Sonia loved it. Gone were the disdainful looks and cold silences. She moaned, pure lust written all over her face as she pulled back to breathe. Her eagerness set him off. He jerked forward, spurting into her mouth, giving her everything he had.
When he opened his eyes, he was slumped against the wall of the stall. His fly was unzipped, his dark suit still polished and immaculate. His cum oozed thick and white down the opposite wall.
“Jesus,” Brendan muttered. Sonia’s touch still burned his neck.
Reaching for a wad of toilet paper, he scrubbed the wall clean. At the sink, he slapped cold water on his face, patted his hair, and adjusted his tie.
A face he knew intimately stared back from the mirror. It was his face, of course, but also Ian’s. The same square jaw, brown hair with a wave to it, bright hazel eyes, deep dimples, and a broad smile. The cleft in Brendan’s chin, and the freckle below Ian’s left eye, were the only distinguishing marks.
Deep down, Brendan had always felt sorry for everyone who didn’t have an identical twin. There was something comforting about sharing a face with another.
He flashed Ian’s lazy grin to pump himself up. “Get it together, B,” he drawled in his brother’s teasing voice. “Game time.”
After that, he’d looked up Sonia’s dance company. He bought a ticket and sat through the season’s first show, telling himself he only came to return her lipstick. The damn gold tube reminded him of her scowl every time he saw it. It practically burned a hole in his hand as he watched her move onstage, sleek and sure.
Her talent was undeniable, but what really got him was her fierce joy when she danced. She was completely herself, comfortable in her own skin.
Afterwards, he waited by the stage door. But when Sonia emerged, her dark eyes sparkling and her cheeks flushed with excitement, Brendan did something he’d never done before.
He bailed.
Still holding the lipstick.
Like a fucking thief in the night.
He went to the next show and the next, never revealing himself to Sonia. He felt creepy doing it, borderline stalker, but in a twisted way, he enjoyed the deception. Nervousness was a new sensation, and he was addicted.
People talked about pounding hearts, sweat breaking out, butterflies in their stomach. Brendan knew these feelings were universal, but he’d rarely experienced them himself.
Until now, he'd considered his lack of nerves a plus. It made life nice and easy. He could work a room with total comfort, say the right things to everyone he met.
But he'd started thinking something was missing.
Sonia made him feel the unwanted emotions other people tried to avoid. Her hatred of him was a weird drug with unpredictable effects.
So he’d gone to every show, even though it meant seeing the same performance several times in a row. He stared at her onstage, trying to figure her out. Watching Sonia storm and glide around gave him fantasy material for weeks.
