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“Fine.”She extended her legs, stretching one onto his lap and groaning as she flexed her toes. It felt so good when he cradled her arch, rubbing firmly. “If you tell anyone I let you touch these calloused feet, I swear—”
“I won’t. It’ll be our little secret.” He kneaded her foot with long, patient strokes. Sonia sighed, feeling the tension melt as he worked up her calf and back down again.
Her eyes fluttered closed when he dug into the arch of her foot. Reclining on her elbows, she eased her other leg into Brendan’s lap.
“That’s the way,” he murmured. “Just lie back. I love seeing you relax for me.”
She wanted to think that Brendan was being self-serving in his encouragement. But he felt real. He just felt really fucking good.
“You know, Ian would mess with me in college sometimes, when he came to visit Diana,” she heard herself say. “He was always playing pranks, but the biggest one was that he’d pretend to be you.”
The massage stopped.
“Oh yeah?” Brendan’s voice was measured.
“Mm-hm.” Sonia kept her eyes closed, the sun warm on her face, until Brendan began rubbing her arch again. “It’s not like he ever truly fooled me. But he’d stroll into our apartment with your smooth, casual walk. He’d flash me your angelic smile, give me a little wink. ‘Sonia! So good to see you. What an awesome surprise.’” Sonia’s voice deepened in an imitation of Ian doing Brendan. “‘Listen, I’m glad I found you alone. I know we’ve had our differences, and you kind of hate my guts, but I have to tell you, I’ve been thinking about you. And I just can’t stop.’”
Brendan sputtered with laughter. “He did that?”
“Come on, Bren. You know your brother. Can’t you picture it?”
“One hundred per cent.” He slowed his strokes on her foot. “Did you really know it was Ian the whole time?”
“The first time, he had me going. Much as I hate to admit it.” Sonia laughed a little. “Then I saw the freckle on his left cheek, and the glimmer in his eye. Yeah, he definitely had me going. There was one night…” Sonia trailed off. “He and Diana were both a little drunk. Not smashed, just tipsy. I came home late, found them watching a movie in our living room. Ian started doing this very exaggerated Brendan act on me. He was rubbing my shoulders, all, ‘Let me help you relax, baby. Let me give you what you need. You look good. You smell good, too.’ Diana thought it was hilarious. She was rolling on the floor. I was laughing too. But…”
“But?”
Her voice dropped. “I know it’s twisted, but it turned me on. I let myself believe it was you. After a minute of Ian rubbing my back and oozing charm all over the place, I went to my room, shut the door, and shoved my hand down my panties. I heard you. I felt you. You were behind me, inside me, whispering in my ear. God, I came so hard.”
Her eyes were still closed, but she heard Brendan’s soft groan. His hands slid up her calf, stroking the back of her knee.
“What happened next?”
“Di knocked on my door. I pulled myself together, and she came in with this big grin on her face. She said, ‘You know, if you want to experience Brendan, but not actually experience him, we can make that happen. We trust you. I wouldn’t share Ian with anyone else, but you’re on the approved list.’ She was joking, but also not. I definitely got a vibe from her. Like,‘if you want to hook up, we will.’”
Brendan’s hands froze. “Did you?” he asked after a long pause.
“No.”
Sonia didn’t need to look at him to feel his utter relief. “Good. Because I don’t want to share.”
Sonia’s stomach flipped. She cleared her throat. “Bren, I won’t lie to you. I thought about it. For just a minute, I considered saying yes. But getting off on Ian pretending to be you — it felt too fucked up. Too messy. And I was embarrassed that I wanted you so much. I also have this thing where — I can’t stand seeing someone after I have sex with them a few times. I didn’t want that to happen with Ian and Di.”
“Why can’t you stand seeing someone after you hook up?” Brendan’s voice was so reasonable. He rubbed her other foot reassuringly.
Sonia reached for her lemonade and drained the last drops. “I don’t know. I get bored, that’s all.”
“Really? Even with that treasure chest of toys?”
Her eyes darted. “I get this feeling. Like I want to run. It starts under my skin, and it spreads like an itch I can't control. No matter how fun someone is, that feeling gets stronger each time I see them, until I have to bolt. Three times is generally the max I can handle.”
“So you want to run away,” Brendan said slowly.
“It's not just with hookups. It's people in general. Any kind of setup or situation that I didn't create myself. My childhood home. High school. College. I mean, Diana was basically the best roommate I could ask for, but I still needed to leave regularly, or I couldn't function. I'd go out at night and roam around. Sometimes I'd just say ‘fuck this shit’ and disappear for a day or two.” She pushed her hands through her hair, and a barrette fell out. Brendan plucked it from the blanket and tucked it in her purse. “That's one of the reasons I started the dance company. I can't work for someone else. I need to follow my own vision.”
Brendan was quiet, stroking her ankles. His long-lashed eyes were half-closed, taking in her torrent of words. The guy knew how to get her to talk. She never opened up this much.
Easing her feet off his lap, Sonia abruptly began cleaning up the remains of the picnic. Brendan kept glancing at her as he helped, but he didn’t pursue the conversation, which made her grateful.
