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He shook his head. “Don’t know that one. But what about this?” He played the melody to “Blackbird” by the Beatles.
“I love this song.”
Naturally, he played it well, and he was warm and strong beside me, as entranced by the music as I was.
When he got to the chorus, he looked over at me, holding my gaze. His eyes were soft and his mouth was parted.
I tilted my head, assenting to something I didn’t understand. Slowly, he angled closer, abandoning the keys and cupping my cheek.
“Fuck it.” He gasped as his lips found mine in a soft yet firm kiss. It was so much more gentle than I imagined it would be from such a harsh man.
Our tongues tangled in a slow and languid dance as he looped his arms around me and pulled me closer.
I gasped as he deepened the kiss, opening my mouth and giving in to the way my body turned molten. My brain turned to mush, and the only thing that existed was the sensation of him kissing me. My hands found his bare chest, exploring every inch of him
He drew back, his eyes cloudy with lust, and watched me. I held his gaze, afraid to speak, unsure of anything except how badly I needed to kiss him again.
But before I could dive back in, he pulled his arms back and stood abruptly.
“Shit,” he said, almost tripping over the piano bench. “Fuck.”
Stepping backward, he put more and more distance between us. “Sorry.”
“Um.” My head was spinning. Was this happening? Did I want it to happen?Thatwas a stupid question. My body was vibrating with the power of that kiss. Anything else would probably kill me outright, but it’d be worth it.
I touched my swollen lips. “Was that…?”
He shook his head. “I don’t know why I did that. I…” He tugged at his hair, a surefire sign that he was freaking out. “That wasn’t good. I shouldn’t have done it.”
Anguish radiated from him. He wore a pained grimace, and his shoulders were once again rigid.
My stomach dropped. Had kissing me been that terrible?
Hot shame flooded my body.What had I been thinking?A sexy dream and a piano concert, and I was ready to throw out all my professionalism, all my boundaries, for a guy I wasn’t even sure I liked?
I stood and rolled my shoulders back, mustering all my dignity. “You’re right. Terrible idea. I’m going to bed.” With that, I turned and stalked out of the room without looking back. If I did, I’d probably slap him in the face. How dare he? He was all vulnerable and approachable, and I let my guard slip.
This was my pattern. I loved a fixer upper. Liv would kill me if I told her I’d kissed him. And she should. God, I was an idiot. When would I learn?
I marched up the stairs to my room and kicked the door closed, then threw myself onto the bed. Paz had turned me inside out and upside down, and I wasn’t sure what to think.
My brain spun and my stomach churned. Because what if he wasn’t a cold asshole who didn’t care about anyone but himself? What if he cared too much? What if he was capable of so much love and concern that he couldn’t handle the weight of it all and pushed everyone away for his own sanity?
Stop it. I dragged a pillow over my face and screamed into it.Stop romanticizing your roommate and focus on why you’re here in the first place.You have a job to do.
Chapter19
Pascal
“Storm coming,” I said to my assembled siblings during our weekly management meeting. Richard was on speakerphone from camp, and Michelle, our bookkeeper, was working from home because her baby was sick.
Snowstorms were as beautiful as they were unpredictable. They were one of very few things that truly brought life to a standstill up here. There was nothing like looking out the window at the snowfall. The sheer power of mother nature was so humbling.
Maine winters were long and challenging, but I went into them prepared. And I was always looking to improve my preparations so things were under control.
But my family was another story.
They didn’t understand just how bad things could get. Bangor was a decent size, but we were an hour from there, so even in good weather, it took a while for first responders to arrive.
