Page 1 of Cry For Me


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Chapter One

Anarchy waited for him.

The lovely little blonde was standing patiently beside the barstool he preferred when sitting at the bar, her shoulder-length hair twisted into a complicated golden knot at the back of her head. Just the way he liked it, damn her to hell.

Her heart-shaped face was relaxed, serene. Her big brown eyes were closed, and there was the smallest smile on her lips. The early evening hum of activity didn’t appear to bother her in the slightest.

Jasper’s eyes roamed over her appreciatively, thoroughly approving of her attire for the night. Her sleek curves were wrapped up in a teddy the color of ripe blueberries, her full breasts and mound cupped lovingly by the material, leaving her shoulders, thighs, and arms bare.

Such a fucking shame he couldn’t touch her with a ten-foot pole.

Standing in the doorway, Jasper let himself drink her in for a moment more. Someone so sweet and compassionate would never belong to the likes of him; he was too rough, too driven by his urges, to ever take a submissive like her. In every other way, she was perfect for him.

She just wasn’t a match for his sadism.

Rubbing his hand over his heart, Jasper braced himself for what he knew was coming. Anarchy’s instant submission to him never failed to bring his protective instincts to life and turning her away each time twisted a knife deeper into his guts. Especially when those huge doe eyes dulled with hurt.

The moment he stepped over the threshold, Jasper found himself pinned by an almost puppy-like gaze. Full of love and a need to please. He swore the girl—it helped if he didn’t think of her as a woman, despite the curves she flaunted in that damned teddy—wiggled in place, desperate to meet him.

Nine months, he thought. Nine months since I first laid eyes on her, and we’re both dancing around the white fucking elephant between us.

Anarchy had been by his side during the tragedy that had hit Avalon, the BDSM club hidden away on the outskirts of Phoenix. When Bodie, the club owner’s submissive, had been brutally attacked and left for dead by her parents, Anarchy had refused to leave Jasper’s side every bit as vehemently as Jasper had declined to abandon his best friend, Braun, in his time of need.

She’d remained curled at Jasper’s feet for days, offering support with her cheek pressed against his thigh. Playing errand girl, fetching coffee and food from the hospital cafeteria, being helpful and unobtrusive throughout the long week when Boadicea’s life had dangled in the balance.

Jasper had only resumed normality when the doctors no longer hesitated to say Bodie would pull through. In returning to everyday life, the connection between Jasper and Anarchy hadn’t broken. Her kindness, her compassion, tangled him up better than any web. She’d shown genuine concern over Bodie, so he hadn’t turned her away when she asked to travel to the hospital with him, and that had been his downfall.

He liked her.

In the three months since Braun and Bodie first returned to Avalon after the incident and Bodie’s six-month recovery, Jasper had tried to distance himself from the adoring submissive, unwilling to lead her on with fantasies of a dynamic. He actively sought out other subs, dragging them away into the depths of Avalon to unleash his sadistic side on their bodies while imagining someone else entirely writhing under the crack and sting of his whip.

He gave others the kiss of his flogger, the fire of his cane, with pleading eyes watching his every move from the shadows. She never complained, never bitched about how he passed her over for every other submissive who begged for his attention, but every night he came to the club, she waited for him.

Jasper walked to the bar, leaving several feet between them as he signaled Liam over. The younger Master strolled over, polishing a glass. “How long has she been there?” he murmured, keeping his voice down as a familiar gay couple slid onto a pair of barstools between him and the little submissive.

Liam’s gray eyes slid over to Anarchy. “Your shadow? About an hour.”

She was tenacious, he’d give her that. Jasper closed his eyes and shook his head. He was going to have to get strict with her. The girl was wasting precious time waiting for him when she could be happy and content with another Dom. She had too much to offer; she didn’t deserve to be left in the shadows, yearning for what she couldn’t have.

“Enough is enough. We need to find her a suitable Dominant.”

The club manager’s blond eyebrows hiked almost to his hairline. He was over a decade younger than Jasper and resembled a Viking with his shaggy blond hair and beard—both of which were a recent addition. It seemed both men and women alike preferred the bisexual Master with his rough, roguish appearance rather than his previous clean-cut presentation. However, he’d proven himself to be not only a trustworthy manager for Braun’s business, but a strict yet sympathetic Dominant. “Who are you and what have you done with the sadist?”

Jasper glared at him. “Don’t piss me off tonight, Liam.”

“Not trying to, I swear. You’re going to fuck the betting pool if you cut her loose, you know that, right? Some of us have some serious moolah riding on you capitulating and taking her for a scene.”

Oh, he knew about the betting pool his fellow Masters and Mistress were running. He himself had a couple hundred dollars riding on the fact he wouldn’t give in to Anarchy’s charms, but in this instance, winning or losing a fucking bet didn’t factor into the equation.

By holding his tongue, he was giving her the illusion there was hope for something more between them. Torturing her with possibilities that would never come to fruition. It was time to step up and be a goddamn Dominant, to end this charade once and for all.

“I don’t give a shit, Liam. The girl needs to find a Dominant she can bond with. This can’t go on any longer.” Jasper checked his watch, noting his sub for the evening would be arriving in the next few minutes. “It’s unfair to let her follow me around. She should be playing, enjoying herself. Experiencing the lifestyle, not standing off on the sidelines watching everyone else.”

“Tempting you, is she? If you ask me, it’s plain to any idiot with open eyes that she is bonded. To you. Christ, Jasper, you can’t kick her free after, what, nearly a year of this shit? You should have taken this step months ago if it wasn’t leading anywhere.” Liam slapped his polishing cloth down on the bar.

Jasper took the verbal hit, absorbed it. Knew it wasn’t uncalled for. He should have been more direct, taken a firmer stand when Anarchy didn’t take him seriously, but she and her sweet personality sucked him in every time he saw her. “You can’t kick my ass any harder than I am, Liam. Trust me on that. Just give me some names of members you think would work for her. I have some ideas of my own,” he continued when Liam sighed and rubbed his forehead, “but it would be nice to have them validated.”

Liam gestured at someone further down the bar, asking them to wait a moment. “Let me serve my customers and give it some thought. Take a few minutes to make sure this is absolutely what you want, Jasper. She’s stuck with you for months, never asking, never whining about you playing with other women. Don’t throw her away if you think she could be right for you.”

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