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“No.” Leaning forward, he ran a line of soft kisses down the graceful column of her throat. “You in the middle of a climax. You become radiant. Orgasm only enhances your natural beauty, like shining a spotlight on you in the dark. All I can see is you.”
“Do I have to beg?”
The question surprised him. Cocking his head thoughtfully, he noted the touch of desperation in her voice. Instinctively, he laid his hand over hers, the blanket acting as a barrier. “Why would I make you beg, Caera? Don’t get me wrong, it can be sexy, but that’s not what I want from you.”
“I just don’t understand. I want this. You want this. What do I have to do?” Tears glistened in her eyes and nearly undid him. “Is it because I’m a virgin?”
Saul sighed and settled into a comfier position. “Part of it, yes. We’ve known each other for a ridiculously short amount of time. There are so many factors we need to take into consideration—” Like not falling for the younger woman, “—including several unwritten rules I’ve already broken. I’m here for you, little rabbit, but you’re here to heal, to find some peace. Breaking your heart if something goes wrong…it’s just going to compound the issues you’re already dealing with. Does that make sense?”
Caera sniffled. “People sleep with each other. It’s a fact of life. I watch movies, remember? Read romance books and all the happy-ever-afters. They screw random strangers in nightclub bathrooms, and fall in love going up in an elevator.”
“Sorry, Caera, but I won’t reduce this to a casual, meaningless fuck. Sex in a nightclub is…drunken, frantic, often with no clue what they’re doing, no thought to protection, no emotion toward each other except lust.” He thought back to his own youth, when he’d taken more than a few inebriated girls for a quick romp in a club bathroom. “There’s no affection, no need to please one another. Don’t you want more than that for your first time?”
She met his gaze directly, her face full of resignation. “You’ll give me more. I know you will. Look at what you’ve already done for me. Last night was the first night I can remember not waking in a cold sweat, strangling on my own screams. Because of you.”
Oh fuck. “Because I woke you every time the terrors started, little rabbit, not because of sex. That’s not everything we need to think about,” he continued when she started to protest, prying her arm from beneath the blanket and resting it alongside his. “See the difference? I’m a lot bigger than you, Caera. Height and weight. As much as you might hate admitting it, you’re in a fragile condition, physically. One wrong move, one rough mistake from me, and I could break you. Harming you would…fuck, Caera, it would kill me.”
A tear slipped free. “I just want to be normal, Saul.”
They needed to nip this in the bud before it went any further. Saul grasped her face in his hands and stared into her eyes. Into the pain choking her from the inside out. “You think having sex will make you normal? Caera, there’s nothing wrong with you.”
“Then why did no one want me before you?”
He kissed her, hard. Almost brutally as anger boiled inside him, fueled by the indignation of his Dominant half. “Because everyone who has ever looked at you and turned away has been a braindead, blind, moronic fuckwit who never saw you, little rabbit. They don’t see you the way I do. The fault lies with them, each and every time they ignored you.”
She wept then, her heart visibly shattering in her eyes. All Saul could do was gather her into his arms, cradling her into the warmth of his body and letting her purge some of the toxic emotion poisoning her.
Such a troubled soul, he mused as he rocked and murmured endearments.
When she settled, her head tucked into the curve of his shoulder, he pressed his lips to her hair. “I’ll make you a deal, Caera. When you said we both wanted this, you were right. There’s no point denying it. But I do have a couple of stipulations. Interested?”
“Stipulations?”
“Mmm-hmm. For the next two weeks, you will go to bed at a decent time, you will close your eyes, and try your damnedest to get to sleep.” He shushed her when she tried to argue. “You will trust me to take care of you if and when you fall asleep. Agreed?”
Shuddering, she cuddled closer to him. “Okay.”
“On top of that, you’ll call Connie at least twice a week while we’re here, and resume your sessions with her when we get back to Phoenix.” He rested his chin on the top of her head. “I’d like to take you to where I spend most of my free time, so you can meet my friends. It would be nice for you to have some time with other women.”
She sagged in defeat. “Fine.”
“So, we have a deal.” Content with her on his lap, he wrapped the blanket around them both. “What do you say to another movie night on Friday? I can make dinner, we can watch more movies, maybe hunt down some ice cream?”
Caera leaned back so she could look at him. The hope in her eyes was blinding. “Could we renegotiate the two weeks, move it to Friday night?”
“Strictly non-negotiable. I expect a good proportion of your weight to be back on these bones, little rabbit, which means eating everything I give you, down to the pattern off the plates.” On that, he was not budging. Even the pretty kiss she treated him to wasn’t enough to weaken his resolve. “Two weeks, Caera. It will fly by, trust me.”
*
Friday morning rolled around quickly, much to Caera’s shock. Time had indeed flown by since the night she’d made the deal with Saul, and she’d been so good, doing her best to please him. Truth be told, he was easy to please—every little battle she won against her personal demons, he showered her with praise.
She spent every night in bed with him, his body wrapped around her like a guardian angel, waking her almost every time she slipped deeper into dreams than she should. When she woke screaming, covered in sticky sweat and shaking violently, her hands battering Saul as he tried to calm her…he didn’t humiliate her by reminding her of the fact her subconscious was an unruly, disruptive bitch.
He held her, kissed her, wiped away the tears of disgust and despair.
She ate every snack he prepared, forced down the meals he made morning, noon, and night. The man knew how to cook, that was for sure, but her stomach was so small after not eating properly for months, she struggled with more than a few mouthfuls.
They went for walks in the woods, her hand clasped in his. Listening to the birds chattering in the canopies of leaves, and once, they’d even seen a small family of white-tailed deer.
