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You know perfectly well.
Jesus fucking Christ, was he serious?
There’s nothing to talk about. Gotta get to class.
I waited a minute before leaving the stall, my stomach still roiling.
33
LARK
“What’s wrong, honey?”Mom asked me.
“Huh?” It was Friday after school, and I was at the table with my laptop open. It was used and slow to upload anything, but no way could we afford an upgrade. I was saving up my paychecks from the junkyard for a rainy day. There were bound to be plenty.
“You were staring off into space.” She slid down next to me and lifted my hand. “Plus, you’ve been chewing your fingers raw again. That always means something’s bothering you.”
I sighed. “I’ve started doing meditation with a free app Leah recommended, but I’m only two sessions in and haven’t been able to go deep yet. Too much on my mind.”
“Maybe you should also start seeing a therapist. We’ve been remiss not doing it sooner.”
“You know we can’t afford that.”
“I looked into it. My insurance will cover the first few appointments, and we can figure the rest out after that. One of the hostesses at the diner said she does online sessions, which helps with transportation. Let’s at least look into it.”
My heart was in my throat. Maybe I should. “Okay. But I still want to try the meditation thing.”
“It wouldn’t hurt.” She kissed my cheek. “So…what’s bothering you? Is it Henry?”
“Sort of? Him showing up at my recital with flowers is causing all sorts of rumors.”
“Suppose I’m not surprised.” She frowned. “And he’s not out, right?”
I hadn’t told Mom about what the two of us had been up to, but she could obviously guess.
“Not even close. And no way he wants to be yet, so he’s beating himself up about it.”
“The poor dear. I hope it’s not impacting his health. The mind and body have a strange way of affecting each other.”
I wouldn’t mention how concerned I was about finding Henry hiding in the bathroom, and I hoped I was wrong about his symptoms. He needed to get checked out, but no way was I going to nag him about it.
“Yeah, I hear you. I’m going to keep a close watch on him.”
“Good idea. Invite him over more.” She winked. “We like having him around.”
“Maybe I will.”
Mom got ready for work, and just as Star and I were about to start playing a board game, she picked Star up and embraced her. “I’ll see you in the morning, young lady. Be good for your brother.”
I stood and walked her to the door, getting last-minute suggestions about what to make for dinner. When she stepped outside, I noticed Pete over her shoulder. “Hey, you!”
He came over as Mom waved her goodbyes and went to her vehicle. Speaking of rainy days, her car had seen better days and was bound to give out on her any day now. That was where the junkyard and Pete’s uncle came in handy. He was good with cars, had plenty of used parts, and had been able to help us out over the years.
“Want to hang out tonight after I put Star to bed?” We hadn’t seen much of each other lately. He knew I was busy with dress rehearsals and extra practices, something he totally got, having witnessed it all through high school. He’d attended a couple of my recitals, but only out of allegiance to me. The programs could feel long and boring, especially if you cared nothing about dance, so I told him he shouldn’t feel obligated. I could see the relief in his eyes. Besides, it wasn’t like I attended antique car shows with him and his uncle, something he was wildly interested in. It was enough that he was supportive no matter what.
“Sorry, I have a date with Jenny.”
“Things seem more serious,” I said, noting the sparkle in his eyes.
