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“Don’t get on your high and mighty pedestal, Jack. These men will be an asset to have in our pockets.”
“Because it’s always good to let murderers, especially murderers of cops, go free so the Justice Department can think they’re in control. Let me guess, you guys are in bed with Homeland Security on this one?”
“There are facets to this job. You know that.” The frustration in her voice was evident, and I had a feeling this was an argument they’d had before. “You see everything inblack and white. But that’s not the way the world works.”
“Mostly because politicians, lawyers, and bureaucrats tie up the system with red tape and bullshit so theycan one up each other. What if Tydell or the others fire on more officers and we have a shot? Are we just supposed to walk away and let it happen?”
“Shoot to incapacitate. Not to kill. Those are your orders.”
“It’s a lot easier giving orders having never stood in the line of fire, sweetheart,” Wolfe said. “I say we give you a vest and put you out there to defend your life and the lives of others and see if you shoot to incapacitate.”
“You’re trying to make me out as the monster here, when you know having men like this under our thumb will save countless lives in the long run. I am on your side. But I have a job to do and I’m going to make sure it gets done.”
“I hope you never have to experience standing over the graves of the people whose lives you and the Justice Department are playing with.” Jack turned his back to Lauren so he stared at the faces of each of his men on the white board. “It’s not good for the soul. Believe me on that.”
Everyone settled down at their tables with a stack of files to wade through, and I slipped out of the room to get more coffee now that things had settled down a bit. I looked out the kitchen window in the trees and wondered if there was anyone out there. If Tydell was waiting and watching for his moment. I didn’t have a lot of faith in the FBI to protect us, my past experience with my parents withstanding.
I turned when I heard the familiar click of heels come into the room. “I just came in for more coffee,” she said, going to the pot. “Jack always did make really good coffee.”
I didn’t know what to say so I stayed silent and turned to face her completely, leaning back against the counter.
“I don’t want to make things awkward, but I’m assuming you know that Jack and I have a bit of a past.”
“He told me.” My lips twitched as I looked her in the eye. “Jack has had a lot of pasts.”
She smiled and tipped her cup to me. “That he has. I wasn’t sure when I saw the two of you together that you were a good fit for him. He’s a good man and he deserves to be happy. To have someone who can give him that and understand him at the same time. Jack’s more complicated than he seems to most people.”
“He certainly is.” I had no idea where this was going. I didn’t know if Lauren was about to make her pitch for why she would be better suited or suggest that I do what was best for Jack and bow out of the picture. I only knew that I really liked the kitchen and would hate to get blood on anything if I had to kill her.
“He talked about you, you know? Back when we were together.”
My eyebrows raised at that bit of information. Jack had never mentioned Lauren to me. Hadn’t even told me he was living with someone, and we’d been just as close then as we’d always been. Though our conversations had mostly been through email and phone calls. We’d been too busy to see each other much.
“I was jealous if you want to know the truth. He always had stories about Jaye,” she said, smiling. “The things you did together or the practical jokes you played on each other. He worried about you living in the city alone and in the part of town where your apartment was. I heard the love in his voice every time he mentioned your name. I wanted that, and I hated you for it even though I’d never met you.”
“I’m sorry,” I said softly. I could empathize with her. I couldn’t imagine how I’d feel if it were the other way around.
She shrugged it away. “I realized after we moved in together that it wouldn’t work between us. Don’t get me wrong,” she grinned. “We were very compatible in certain ways. Jack is very—talented.”
“You probably don’t want to go there.” I felt the heat rising to my cheeks. I knewexactlywhat she was talking about. Talented was an understatement.
“But we were both too headstrong, and as you saw back there, we see things very differently. My career will always come first, and Jack may not realize it, but he needs the kind of person who will always put him first. And he’ll need to do the same to whoever he ends up with.”
“Are you trying to scare me away or encourage me to stay?” I asked curiously.
“I don’t know. Maybe a little of both. Like I said, I wasn’t sure you were the one for him yesterday when I first saw you together. There was tension and something else standing between you. But I’ve been watching you together. I don’t even think you realize what you have. It’s like watching a dance whenever you’re in the same room together. You know what he wants and are able to give it to him before he does and vice versa. You have this unspoken communication and your bodies are in sync. You’re his world. I can see that now. The little touches or the looks he gives you when you don’t realize he’s watching. It’s a beautiful thing to see. And I find myself just as jealous of what you have now as what you had then. Congratulations on your upcoming marriage. I truly hope you’re very happy.”
The lump in my throat made it difficult to speak. I wasn’t sure I could have shown the same generosity and kindness if our positions had been reversed. “Thank you. I appreciate that very much. If it makes you feel better, I’m extremely jealous of your shoes.”
She laughed and stuck out her leg so the icepick heel she seemed to prefer—thisone in vivid red—could be seen. “They are pretty fabulous. And unlike men, shoes are never a disappointment. I actually came in here to talk about something else, though I guess I needed to get the other off my chest first.”
“What is it?”
“Jack is wasted here, you must know that.”
“I do, but it’s Jack’s decision. He’ll make a change if he wants to and if he’s ready.”
“The FBI has wanted him for years. There’s a reason he and Carver are such good buddies. They’ve been trying to recruit him for almost a decade. He’s been through several special training sessions at Quantico. His intelligence is very high and he has the physical skills as well.”
