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“Don’t do that. Don’t start blaming yourself. This isn’t your fault, Ainsley.”
“The last thing I said to him was that I didn’t want to see him. What if that’s the last thing he ever hears from me? God, I feel sick.”
“Ainsley, hey, stop,” she says, taking the roundabout a fraction too quickly. It’s still not fast enough for me. I clutch the edges of the seat as she flies around another one. “You need to stay focused. He needs you.”
The hospital is only twenty minutes away, but time has no meaning today. Ten seconds could have passed, but it could have also been ten hours.
“I can’t. What if I never get to make things right? I don’t care about him getting me hired. I don’t care that he wanted to help. I don’t even care if he didn’t think I could look after myself. I don’t care that I was humiliated.” I take a sharp breath. “Fuck the arrest thing, too. He needs to be okay.”
“You were always going to get there, babe. You two are made for each other, and you’ll be able to tell him all of that when he wakes,okay?”
I curl my fingernails into my palms, crawling out of my skin. Why is it taking so long? Freya seems sure that he will wake up. I wish with every fibre of my being that I could be that confident.
“You should have slapped me until I saw sense. I was so wrapped up in believing that he was trying to rescue the poor girl that I couldn’t—”
“Seriously, stop it. You’re going to drive yourself crazy.” She takes a left, and I can see the hospital in the distance.
I’m already there, but another part of me just wants to get her to turn around so I don’t have to go in there and face whatever’s coming. I want to stop caring and protect myself. That’s impossible now, though, because I gave him my heart.
I push aside the panic that wants me to run again and focus on what’s important. Casper is alive, and when I get to him, I’m going to do everything I can to make sure he heals quickly because when I gave him my heart, he gave me his, too.
“Freya, are you coming in with me?”
“Absolutely. I’m not leaving you. He’s going to be all right. Casper is tough as hell and determined to get you back. It’s not like you two were going to stay apart for long. He wouldn’t let a knife get in the way of your forever.”
As much as I appreciate the sentiment, we both know it’s crap. You don’t get to decide what can kill you. No one is stronger than death. I can’t let that thought linger, though.
Freya pulls up at the barrier and presses the button for a ticket.
Slowly, so painfully slowly that I want to scream, the barrier rises like it has all the time in the world. Frays growls and puts her foot down, only slowing when we get close to the hospital doors.
“I’ll park and meet you in there,” she says.
“Thanks,” I reply, jumping out of the car.
I should’ve waited really, but it can take a few minutes to find a space, and I just need to get to himnow.
The doors slide as I approach, and then I’m inside the hospital. It’s faded white walls stretch along an intimidating corridor. Hanging from the ceiling are signs directing you to different rooms and areas of the hospital.
The scent of antiseptic hangs in the air so thick I almost choke on it.
I swing left for Accident and Emergency, nearly tripping over.
There are two overworked women behind the desk. One wipes her brow as she taps away on a keyboard, and the other is talking to a patient.
The one behind the computer looks up as I approach.
“Can I help you?”
“I’m looking for Casper Hart. He was just brought in. Is he okay?”
She nods, giving me a sympathetic smile. She must have seen him when he arrived. What does that smile mean? I want to grab her by the scruff of her neck and interrogate her.
“Are you family?”
“Ainsley, darling,” Flora says. Her eyes are red, the tears streaming down her cheeks. She’s pale and make-up free.
The woman behind the desk says nothing as I dash towards Flora, either assuming I’m family now, or she doesn’t get paid enough to care.
