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“I should go,” I say, putting my drink on the table and standing up. “Thanks for bringing me home.”
“Ainsley, wait.”
I don’t wait because I can feel my sanity balancing on a knife’s edge. One little blow and I’ll fall apart. That’s not happened since I was sixteen and didn’t get a call from my mum on my birthday.
God, I wish I could hate her. Really, fully hate her so she could never hurt me again. And I hate how vulnerable she can make me feel after all this time.
Casper’s hand slams down on the door as I go to open it.
“What do you want?” I snap, turning around. “Why won’t you just let me go?”
“You’re not okay.”
“So? I don’t need to be okay every second of every day. I’ll live. Let me leave and deal with this in my own way.”
“Do you deal with it, though?”
“Piss off, Casper.” I shove his chest, but he doesn’t move far. “I don’t know why you’re even here. You couldn’t care less about me.” I shove him again, and he stands there and takes it. “You’re such an arsehole.” My head is about to explode. I push his chest harder. “I hate you. I hate you so much.”
The next second my fists are curling around his T-shirt and I’m pulling him closer.
CHAPTERTWENTY-ONE
I hold him close until his nose is pressed against mine and we’re breathing the same oxygen. Neither of us moves anymore. His eyes cut into mine with a thousand promises and a whole lot of unanswered questions.
The fire is back, blazing through my veins. The overwhelming and uncontrollable need to have him inside me takes over all rational thought. This might be wrong aftereverythinghe’s done, but I can’t seem to convince myself to walk away.
Tonight, I’ve dealt with my mum, and now I’m going to fix whatever is happening with Casper.
All this pent-up sexual tension needs to be extinguished.
Then we can move on. I can cut him out of my life properly.
My fist is still tangled in the black cotton covering his torso. I want it off.
My mouth covers his, and a traitorous little whimper in the back of my throat gives away how much I want him. My body is working against my mind now. I know what I should do, but there is nothing I can do to stop this.
One night.
Casper growls and steps out of my grasp.
Oh, shit.
He’sthe one to stop this?
Fuck.
What the hell have I done?
I burn with humiliation, my eyes wide at what a fool I’ve made of myself. Why can’t I stop making stupid decisions?
I have to get out of here before he notices the blood rushing to my face, and I do something else ludicrous.
Who knows what that would be? Throw myself at him again? Throw a knife at him?
“Sorry,” I mumble, spinning around. I need to get out of this house and move to Alaska right now.
“No,” he says, wedging himself between me and the door so I can’t make my escape.
