AllFreeNovel
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I tuck a strand of hair behind my ear. “My family values education. I also value it, or I wouldn’t have become a teacher. So, I don’t know why I feel so stuck. My life was mapped out. I had the perfect boyfriend. A good job, a decent apartment—which isn’t easy in the city—and I have two sisters I’m close to. But one married and moved to London. The other became a midwife and is always working. I feel a little lonely. It’s almost like I’m going through the motions of living but not really living, if that makes sense.”
The server comes over and explains the menu. Instead of listening to her, my skin tingles with discomfort. I shouldn’t be revealing all of this to a man I just met and who is a colleague. I can’t imagine what he must think about all of it.
Lorimer asks me, “I can select a variety of small plates that we can share. Is there anything that you don’t like?”
I scan the menu. “No, it all looks amazing.”
Lorimer orders a selection of small plates and the accompanying wines. He looks at me and asks, “Does that appeal, or would you like something else?”
I smile. “That sounds fine.”
The young woman, wearing all black, repeats the order. “To start, the beef comte, then the eel, scallops, and the mallard. Accompanied by cauliflower, potato knodel, and a celeriac pear salad. And the wine flight.”
Lorimer nods. “Yes, thank you.”
The server smiles and takes our menus.
After taking a sip of water, Lorimer asks. “What would you say constitutes the perfect boyfriend?”
I shrug. “We don’t need to pick apart my life. Maybe we should pick apart your life? Do you have the perfect girlfriend?”
“I don’t believe in perfection.”
The sommelier comes and pours our first wine tasting. He spends a few minutes discussing the wine and then says, “Your starter will be served shortly.” After bowing slightly, he leaves us to our conversation.
Lorimer leans back in his chair. “If you’re looking for perfection, you’ll be disappointed. I learned that lesson years ago. Humans are complicated. And for the record, I’m not in a relationship right now.”
I decide not to comment and taste the wine. “This is delicious.”
He picks up his wine glass. “So, tell me, who was this perfect specimen of manhood?”
I sat up straighter. I can handle this. Lorimer is essentially a stranger; it doesn’t matter what he thinks of my decisions. “His name is Josh. He has a Ph.D. in nanoscience. My parents adored him. We met on my first day of work. His younger brother was in my class. His father had re-married and had another son. Anyway, Josh was considerate and kind. And before I knew it, I was in love. I thought we would be together forever.”
“So, what happened?”
I let out the breath I had been holding. “A cliché happened. He slept with his research assistant. He didn’t tell me. I found out when I stalked him online a few months after we broke up. He said he needed space, and while he believed we would end up together, we needed time apart to find ourselves. That was six months ago. I was heartbroken. We had moved in together and had a life with friends and hobbies. We had gotten a dog.”
“So, you moved out?”
“I did. I found a roommate and went through the motions of carrying on. But the sadness lingers.”
“What about the dog?”
I shake my head. “I let him keep the dog. I didn’t want some big showdown. He calls occasionally, and I wonder if we’ll find a way back to each other.”
“You would take him back?”
I shrug. “Maybe. I don’t know. I miss my life with him.”
“What are you not saying?” he quietly asks, and his probing question makes me uncomfortable.
I raise my chin. “I want to be in a relationship. I don’t understand why he wanted space. It makes me feel like something is wrong with me. Like I wasn’t good enough.”
He lets out a groan. “I’m probably the wrong person to give you advice. I’m not interested in a deep, committed relationship. It’s not that you weren’t good enough; he wasn’t the right fit for you. You know what you want. You seem principled and empathetic. He might be living for others and never figured out his shit. So, he is destined to seek new experiences or people, trying to figure out what he wants.”
“I guess.” I don’t want to think about Josh tonight. He made his decision, and I need to not obsess about it.
“Imogen, why would you want someone who wasn’t functionally an adult? If you want a permanent relationship, I imagine you want a mature, competent individual that understands their worth.”
