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“I’m not going to let Angela ruin my wedding.”
I shrug. “Good.”
“I don’t understand, Lorimer.”
“Mom, she should be here. You know that. She is important to Graham. Just as I’m important to you.”
“His sons are here.”
“Yes, and that’s helpful. But he has three children. They all need to be here.”
She crumples onto the sofa. “She doesn’t like me.”
I sit down next to her. “I’m sure you’re different from her mother, but she’s an adult, and you can strengthen that relationship. It’s important to Graham.”
I don’t want to get involved in any of this. But they both need support and kindness.
She dries her eyes. “He told you that?”
Her openness surprises me. “No, he told me you wanted him to sell the theater and travel the world on an extended honeymoon.”
She says quietly, “I do want that.”
I look at her hands, which are clutched into tight fists. “You’ll have to figure that out with Graham.”
She gets up and starts pacing. “We’ll always see his children, but we won’t see you. His daughter is expecting a baby in the summer. She’ll be dropping by every day with that baby.”
I didn’t know my mother worried about these kinds of things. I thought she liked to shop and spend time with friends. It didn’t seem to matter that much if I called or visited. I frequently travel to areas without cell service or internet.
“You need to invite them into your life for Graham’s sake. It doesn’t mean you won’t have me in your life.”
Tears begin slipping down her cheeks. “I don’t have you in my life. You’ve never forgiven me for leaving you with your father.”
I tap the sofa cushion near me and wait for her to sit.
Taking her hand, I say, “I do forgive you, mum. You weren’t responsible for how he treated me. That rests with him. I know you would have done things differently had you known. But my formative years were full of estrangement and neglect. It made me independent and self-sufficient. So, it’s unlikely I’ll need your help with anything. But we can talk more often, and I’ll make it a point to visit if that is important to you.”
She continues crying. “I want to experience your adventures so I feel more connected to you.”
I cannot imagine her hiking for hours or scuba diving in cold water. “We book a year in advance. But there are a few you may enjoy. There is a lodge in Botswana that caters to non-adventure types.”
She lifts her chin. “I can be more adventurous.”
I cross my arms. It hadn’t occurred to me that she wanted to be more involved in my life. Growing up without her in my life made her absence seem normal after a while. As a young child, I had wanted to see her more often, but eventually, I stopped wanting that. Probably to protect myself against disappointment.
I wait several seconds until I’m feeling less emotional. “It’s okay that we are different. I can enjoy dinner out in London with you and the opera occasionally. You and Graham can visit Antigua and snorkel. But it can be scheduled and infrequent. In between, we can video chat.”
“You don’t return my phone calls.” Her voice sounds sharp and critical. I realize her prickliness covers up hurt.
I squeeze her hand. “Mum, I can make more of an effort to stay connected. I didn’t know that it was important to you.”
She sniffles. “I’m your mother. I want to know what is happening in your life.”
I kiss her cheek. “Fair enough. Now, you need your stylist. Your face is red and blotchy. And I need to help Imogen with the schedule.”
My mom stands up, twists away, and quietly blows her nose. “She is good in a crisis.”
I nod. “Imogen? She is covering for someone out on medical leave.”
