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I pour two glasses of sparkling water. As I take a sip, I think about the limited about of snorkeling I had done. The ocean terrifies me. I grab a plate and add some cheese, olives, and salami.
Alex takes a bite of food. “Don’t overthink it. Learn the techniques and practice. That’s all you need to do for now.”
I put my plate on the counter. “I’m not worried.”
He leans closer. “I can tell you’re worried. That’s okay. A healthy amount of fear is good. It means you won’t take unnecessary risks.”
“If I don’t pass this course, will you send me home?”
“Yes. I can’t have someone here that can’t fully participate. No matter how good you are between the sheets.”
I flinch and say, “What?”
“Everyone that is a part of this adventure company needs to pull their weight. Nothing that has happened between us will give you special status or exempt you from this requirement.”
“I’m not asking you for special treatment.”
“You asked me if I’d send you home, and the answer is yes, sweetheart.”
I move away from the counter and start pacing. “You’re being unfair. I’m nervous about the class. You could offer reassurance.”
Alex clears his plate. “Ask for what you need. Say you’re nervous and want reassurance. It comes down to you. Do you want to be here, and if so, are you willing to learn new skills and put yourself out there?”
I cross my arms and glare at him. Maybe I don’t want to be here. Maybe all of this is too much. We’ve blurred so many lines, yet he goes back to being hardcore and not empathetic.
He checks his watch. “I have to go. If you’re asleep when I return, I’ll see you at sunrise.”
“Good luck on your dive.”
He picks up his phone and keys and says, “Let’s not complicate this. Work and pleasure have to stay separate.”
After he leaves, I try Kate, and she doesn’t answer. Instead, she texts,Sorry. I’m in physical therapy. I’ll call you later.
I call Iris.
“Hey, Immy. I’m traveling back to New York.”
I look out at the ocean and remind myself to sound upbeat. “How was Christmas?”
Iris laughs. “I ate too many cookies, but being an only child does have a few advantages.”
I close my eyes. “I’m in Antigua, and it doesn’t feel like the holidays.”
“That can be good. Make sure you apply sunscreen often. You can get a terrible burn in the tropics.”
I hold my arms close to my body. “I’m expected to take a scuba diving course tomorrow, and I don’t want to.”
“Fly home tonight. We can get dinner tomorrow. You can beg for your job back.”
I take in an audible breath. “I’m not ready to come home.”
“Then I guess you’ll figure it out.”
“You are being unfair. I have a fear of the ocean and a fear of drowning.”
“Fears can be healthy. They are meant to protect you. You’re a good swimmer. I assume you’re taking a scuba course from a reputable firm?”
“I am. But I feel like I’ll make a fool of myself.”
