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Lo has no clue I’ve broken every promise I’ve ever made to him, but this one, I can’t break. Because this is the promise that will break me if I do.
A shred of hope is in his amber eyes—hope that I’ve ignited, hope I can’t let extinguish—and the paramedics close the doors on him. The last thing of Loren Hale I see is his hope in me.
Sirens ring in the air. Red strobe-lights flash against the brick walls, and I watch the ambulance speed off on to Philly streets.
Someone sidles next to me. I already know who. His calm, readied demeanor resets mine, a trauma bag slung on his shoulder. There is no wait. No yesterday. No tomorrow if she’s not here.
There is only now.
Farrow watches the ambulance disappear. “We’ll be with you.”
We.
Oscar comes up to my other side, dangling the keys. “I’m driving.”
21
PAUL DONNELLY
Miniature pink boxinggloves dangle on the rearview mirror of an old Ford. I’m in the backseat of Joana Olivera’s car, and I’m hunched forward, hands cupped and knees jostling beneath me.
Oscar is driving towards South Philly. I check my wrist for the time, but I have no watch on me.Luna has it.
The blue kyber crystal necklace lies heavier against my sternum. Did I kiss it before tucking it in my Van Halen tee? Better believe I did.
“Why the fuck does my baby sis have her steering wheel positioned so low?” Oscar is trying to adjust the wheel while he’s driving.
Could say a lot about that, but I don’t speak.
Farrow’s annoyance is visible. “Man, stop fucking with it. Just pick a position.”
Oscar locks the wheel in place and tries to peek back at me. “No comment back there?” He’s concerned since I’m not ribbing him about sex positions. I see the joke alright. Just don’t wanna make one right now.
My legs won’t stop jostling. “Your adultsister has probably been hooking up with someone in the driver’s seat.”
Oscar short-circuits. “First off,no.Secondly, I’m sorry I asked.”
“Me too,” I mutter. “You sure Jo’s okay with us taking her car?” We needed a non-security vehicle and nothing related to the famous ones. Something more inconspicuous. Oscar called his husband and his sister, but Joana was closer to the crime scene than Jack. Literally only a minute away. Been the only good fortune I’ve had all night.
“She’s not just okay with it, she’s motherfucking thrilled,” Oscar says to me. “The more favors I ask of Jo, the more she can cash in IOUs.”
“Think she just likes when you treat her less like a kid,” I tell him, scraping a hand against the back of my tensed neck.
He frowns. “She’s twelve years younger than me. I can’t change that.”
Yeah.
Silence thickens.
We haven’t been talking about the attack on Lily. Drowning in the dark parts of a night isn’t something any of us like doing. It’s a reason I’ve always loved hanging around Farrow and Oscar, and I’m guessing it’s why they like my company too.
But right now, they’re taking me towards a certain darkness.
It’s in the landscape. Looming over us. At some point, they’re gonna have to leave me. Together, it’s easier to stay calm in the light.
The light side.
I think of Luna. My eyes burn again, and Farrow pops a bubblegum bubble and fiddles with the stereo. “You pick, Donnelly.”
