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25
PAUL DONNELLY
Oscar towersabove me and tries to hand me a flimsy paper cup of water.
With my head in my hands, I’m sitting against the hard hallway wall outside the visitors’ room in Philly General. Glass doors to the ICU remain locked right now. No visitors allowed, and so everyone’s relegated to a morbid, stuffy room with blue chairs, a coffee bar, and a few tables. Haven’t been in there though.
For one, it seems like a morgue.
For another, it’s mostly full of Hales—plus, Lily’s sisters and their husbands. Everyone else is back at the Cobalt Estate with Jane and Thatcher, I’ve heard.
Don’t know where I should be, so I’ve just waited in the hall for better news. I shake my head at Oscar and rest my forearms on my knees. “I just want her to wake up,” I mutter.What if she never does?I’d lift the collar of my shirt to my burning eyes, but I’m not wearing one.
Still shirtless.
Still in Akara’s sweatpants.
Still reeling from tonight.
Oscar downs the water in one gulp. “We all do, bro.” He crushes the paper cup and free-throws it into a nearby trashcan. “For both of them.”
I shut my eyes, pushing back horrific images of Lily on the news. She’d been in so much pain that doctors put her in a medically-induced coma. I can’t stand knowing I’m a piece that caused this shit to happen. I can’t stand seeing the families this broken up.
“I shouldn’t be here,” I choke out and rise to my feet. I don’t know where to go. I can’t leave the hospital and risk paparazzi seeing me.
“Hey.” Oscar catches my shoulder before I turn. “Youfound her. You just got arrested and sat in jail to protect the Hales. You are a shirtless motherfucker right now, but you’re not a villain.”
Jokes wither in my head. I stare at one of my best friends like he’s watching a different movie where I’m the star. “I’m cleaning up a mess I made. Does that seem very heroic to you?”
“Theirmess isn’t yours.” He points down the hall. “Your family is here. You’ve never been a dumb motherfucker, so I know you get this. Your family ishere.”
It digs deeper into me.
His phone starts ringing. “Charlie,” he reads the screen and sighs. It’s been a long night, and I’m still playing catch-up with all I missed while in jail.
I nod for him to take it.
He props the phone to his ear. “Yeah?” While Oscar disappears down the hall, I stare ahead at the visitors’ room.The Hales.They’re in there.
I wish I had something to give them. Tomato pie. Some Wawa coffees. I have no wallet to even buy vending machine candy bars. All I’ve got is me.
Normally, I’d say that’s more than enough.
As I stride forward, I’ve still gotta believe it is.
I want to brave the sight of Luna’s family, and I open the door and slip inside the eerily quiet visitors’ room. Been here before. When I was much younger, I tried to find Farrow during his rounds or rotations. I don’t remember the correct terminology, but he’d been out of med school.
It was empty then.
Now it’s half-full. The room deadens even more on my arrival.
Last time I saw Lo, he’d been destroyed and just barely holding it together in the ambulance. I know what I expected now. I thought he’d be smothered with worry by his brother Ryke, but he’s not.
Ryke is offering Lo a wide berth of space. So is Connor.
The two of them are standing with Maximoff near the coffee bar, the only three on their feet. Ryke is also holding a sleeping Baby Ripley.
I can’t look at the baby for too long.
