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DAD
Sure. Unless you meant to text someone else.
Nah. I know it’s you. Just thought it’s time to talk.
Past time. And tomorrow is better for me.
Tomorrow then.
So there’s that. But I’m not reaching out to him to bond over hoagies and cigarettes. I might as well be a piece of raw meat thrown into an ocean.
Shark bait. That’s me.
And I’m not fooling myself thinking I’m anything else. Xander’s dad wants more info about my family, and I figure this is the only way to really get it. What he’ll do with it—I’m not a hundred percent sure. To make my family a non-threat, it’d take loads of money, bribery, maybe even murder. And there’s still a part of me that thinks Papa Hale has a hitman on retainer.
Anyway, my family has always been a threat. Anything else feels like a dream.
I can’t even dream tonight, not when I’m having trouble sleeping. I keep thinking about Luna. The Hales. The family and dinner I walked away from. The world I’m not allowed to be a part of.
In a way, I don’t even belong here at this penthouse. I’ve been crashing in the vacant room next to Luna’s thanks to Farrow’s generosity and all. Being in that guest room makes me think of her too much, so I find myself on the rooftop with the best views of my favorite city on Earth.
I smoke a cigarette and sit on the ledge of the roof, legs dangling. There’s a lot still going for me. A career, best friends, a pillow to lay my head on, enough money to buy my next meal. Still living in the great state of PA. All these things would’ve calmed my nerves and made me excited for tomorrow.
But none of that stuff really matters without her.
Cigarette between my lips, I open my daily planner and scribble down a new goal.
Today’s Focus:show Luna I still love her, even if I can’t date her.
I reread that sentence, anger surfacing underneath the hurt.Can’t date her.Slamming the planner closed, I take a long drag of my cigarette. My phone buzzes in my pocket, and I slip it out and see it’s Farrow.
I frown. He should be having dinner tonight with the Hales. I pick up the call.
“Donnelly?”
“Shouldn’t you be eating meatloaf right about now?” I ask, unfamiliar salt to my voice. A million times in my life I could’ve been jealous of Farrow. Never have been.
Not until now.
I hate the bitter feeling gnawing me inside-out, and I pinch the cigarette harder between my fingers, glaring at my reflection in the phone.
Farrow skirts over my question. “You okay? I just heard what happened with Lo.”
He knows I’ve been rejected then. I’m quiet, knowing if I open my mouth I’ll just lie to appease his worries.
I wait for him to say,Man, why’d you go and ask him if you could date her?
It’s the question I’ve been asking myself all night. The one I have too many answers for.
I wanted easy for her.
I didn’t want to come between her and her family.
I thought maybe I’d get lucky for once in my life and he’d say yes.
It’s not the question Farrow poses though. Instead, he asks, “You going to answer me or just breathe heavy on the phone?”
“Must be getting me confused with Oliveira. He’s the mouth breather,” I whisper.
