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I frowned. “Why doesn’t she want to see me?” I was hoping to sayhi. Hug her. I just wanted to be with my mom.
My question eviscerated him.
I hated that. I hated how I was making things worse, not better. I guessed in that instance, it was proof I was still the same failure and fuck-up.
“It’s not you,” he said with his whole heart. “She’d love to see you, Luna. Trust me.”Trust him.He was my dad, of course I did.
Of course I do.
But I just didn’t understand. “Then why doesn’t she want to?” My temples thumped.
“She’s…not ready yet.” He peered up at the mounted TV, hiding more suffering from me, but I could see. I stopped asking him about her. My throat swelled too much anyway. He cringed at the Rory and Jess drama on the screen. “That reminds mewaytoo much of your Aunt Willow and Uncle Garrison. Gross.” He acted repulsed like an older brother would be about his younger sister’s love life, which made me smile. (Willow is his sister, after all.) “We’ll getGuardians of the Galaxyup there.”
Stellar distraction techniques from my dad.
I no longer questioned why my mom didn’t want visitors, and my dad stayed to chitchat about Star-Lord and Gamora for a while. He did put my favorite movie on the TV too. It comforted me. Once he left, Xander and Kinney replaced him.
They didn’t say much.
Kinney kept sucking down tears. “They told us not to overwhelm you or whatever.” She shrugged like it was nothing.
“Does it hurt?” Xander asked. “Your head?”
You both look so much older.It stunned me and raced my pulse.
Kinney issixteen.My brother is so close to turning eighteen. A senior in high school. What I thought I was! He’s even had a growth spurt. The more I studied him, his jaw seemed sharper (if that’s possible), amber eyes more intense.
And just yesterday, Kinney had been in middle school. Little. Twig-like. Yeah, she was still gangly like our mom and me, but she wasn’t as soft-cheeked anymore. I couldn’t tell if the makeup was to blame, since our dad never let her wearthatmuch eyeliner or black lipstick.
When did that change?
It all changed. They’ve changed.
Pain radiated inside me. It was too much.
I kept looking over at Donnelly in the corner. He’d give me a thumbs up. There was no Past Donnelly to gauge Present Donnelly. I just had this one Donnelly before me, and unlike with my family, it made things easier.
“What was the question?” I had to ask, a ball in my throat.
“Does your head hurt?” Xander asked again.
“Not as much anymore,” I muttered. “I just can’t…remember everything.” I searched them for answers, but discomfort lied in his face and hers.
“Maybe that’s a good thing,” Kinney said.
Xander shot her a look.
“What?” she snapped, her cheeks reddening.
I’d never been that close to Kinney, but in three years, I figured our relationship might’ve changed into something better. Time heals all, right? Not that we were broken, but we’d never had a super strong bond like Sulli and Winona or even Jane and Audrey.
At the hospital, I couldn’t tell what we currently were to one another. Xander seemed to be harboring more under the surface than I could comprehend too.
“I’m just glad you’re…” Xander couldn’t finish, too choked up. I knew he meant,alive.He glanced back at Donnelly and took a deeper breath.Strange.
“That’s a given,” Kinney stated, wiping away her tears before they even fell. “And you can’t die that close to your birthday. It’s bad luck.”
I almost died?Or was she exaggerating?
