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He tries to exhale a breath. “No one really knows.”
“You have theories?” Does Maximoff Hale still have a philosopher’s heart? He’s had to have thought about this! I perk up, but he’s making a cringey face. “Please,Moffy.”
Scraping a hand along his tight neck, he says, “I think your brain is probably protecting you from…trauma, or it’s safeguarding memories with him that you don’t want corrupted. Maybe both.”
Trauma.“He was with me part of the night,” I remember what Donnelly said. “When it happened…”What happened?
“Yeah,” Maximoff says, just as Arkham barks and scratches at the door. “I have to take that one out for a walk. You need anything?”
Orion springs off his doggie bed, whining at my feet. “Does he…?” I trail off with insecurities.
“I’ll take Orion too.” Moffy whistles, and Orion follows him to the door. Guilt heavies my lungs for not taking care of my dog. Am I a bad pet owner? Orion looked happy to see me, so I can’t be too neglectful, right?
Moffy stops at the door, hesitating. Glancing back, he says, “I’m not bothered at all if you need anything. I’m seriously one phone call and Bat signal away.” He’s earnest. “I’m still your big brother who’d fuck up anyone if they fucked with you.”
I want to believe that’s true.
Still, I say, “This kinda feels like Bizzaro World where everything is backwards and the sun is square.” He’d know the DC comics. He was the one who lent them to me to read when I was nine.
“I’m the same.” He touches his chest. “I stilllovemy face plastered toCelebrity Crush. I’m a headline whore, and I tear upfartoo easily. I’m practically a waterfall.” His brand of sarcasm is 100% the Moffy I know, and I try to smile. “Ask Farrow, I’ve drowned him a billion times.” Quickly, he adds, “Metaphorically.”
I try to ease. “Still speed on freeways?”
“All the damn time.” He’s rigid though.
“Besties with Charlie?”
“Hell would freeze over first.” He licks his lips, looking away. Is he actually close to Charlie again?
It’s okay if you’ve changed.I can’t say it. Because I’m more frightened that he has. “You are close to Charlie?” I actually ask.
He tries to shrug. “A bit. Yeah. We’re not trying to kill each other.” He motions to me. “You’re in contact with him a lot more too.”
“I am?” I’ve always liked Charlie from a distance, but I haven’t made large strides to close the gap. Charlie is someone who can create multiple Grand Canyons of his choosing, and it’s a calculated risk to exert the effort to even reach him.
“He’s been editing your fics.”
Makes a little sense.
Moffy grips the doorframe, about to leave. “I am the same enough,” he reiterates, and I realize he’s afraid I’ll think he’s too different to trust or love this time around.
It’s a rational fear.
Because I’m thinking,can I trust him?He’s right—he only knows whathe’sseen. Maybe I need to enlist Detective Donnelly to help me.
I throw up a Vulcan salute, not wanting him to worry much. “Thanks, memory guide,” I tell him.
Moffy tries to smile back, but he knows I’m placating him. I know he’s trying to convince me he’s worthy of trust.
It’s all screwed up. Warped.
After he leaves with the puppies, I crouch back to the fishbowl. “Polaris?” I ask. Nope, no response. Well, that sucks. Miraclesdon’thappen. But if a miracle were to fall into my lap, I can think of a thousand better ones than my fish magically responding to its name.Like getting my memories back.
I walk over to another door in my room and enter…a bathroom. Two sinks, a glass shower stall—everything is tidy. No toiletries spread on the counters. No water stains on the faucet. I’m guessing sharing a bathroom made me neater than usual…I don’t know.
Letting out a frustrated breath, I eye another door. “Donnelly’s room,” I think out loud.
To snoop or not to snoop, that is the question. Biting my thumbnail, I wonder if something in that room will jog a memory. If my brain is protecting memories that surround Donnelly, then wouldn’t he be the key to unlocking them? Or…if I was close to Donnelly, then those memories could be the strongest to burst through.
