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I have been transported to a happier place, and I really don’t want to leave.I don’t want him to leave. I can’t lose him.The urge swells powerfully inside of me.
His gaze flits around the bowling alley and he tenses more. Are we drawing attention from my therapist or security? With one glance backward, I spot my therapist’s pursed lips and disapproval as she grabs her purse to leave.
Why does she believe this is just a trauma bond?Because I have no memory of Donnelly.
I say more quietly, “My therapist doesn’t want me to be with you.”
“Seems like it.” He angles towards me, elbow on the table. “At least while you’re recovering, but we’re goingS.L.O.W.There’s no pressure for you to recall anything about the past, alright?” He looks earnestly into me.
I frown more, justaggravatedthat she’s against him.
“She’s helping you,” Donnelly says. “She’s on your side, Luna.”
“But she’s not onours.” I think harder. “Maybe it’s a bad idea to be public with my family and security. This would be easier if no one was involved.” No opinions. No naysayers.
“It’s too late now,” Donnelly says casually, sucking frosting off his thumb. “We’re in it to win it, sad alien.”
“Winning isn’t really in a Hale’s DNA,” I remind him in a quiet voice. I’ve heard it enough from my peers growing up. “You picked the wrong girl if you’re hoping to win anything.”
He eyes my bobbling silver antenna headband. “Good thing I’m with the right alien then.”
I smile over at him, my heart lifting.
Donnelly casts a glance to the left, then to me. “I got you something for your birthday. Been rethinking it…so I don’t have anything to give you right now.” Pain creases his forehead. “Sorry.”
“That’s okay.” I shrug. “I wasn’t expecting anything.”
He scratches the back of his head, and I can tell that’s not what he hoped to hear.
My stomach tightens. “What was it?” I ask.
“A sketch for a tattoo. Thought we could match. You can’t smile about it.”
I am smiling. “I wanna see it.”
“Maybe later,” he tells me. “I hatelaters, but it’s probably better if we wait on it.”
If I had memories of him, he wouldn’t be saying that. Being stuck in slo-mo with Donnelly might not be my favorite setting. I’m really struggling not pushing a super speed button just to experiencemore. But that’s the problem. He’s ensuring I want to experience morewith him.
I nod, understanding.
39
PAUL DONNELLY
I’m pissingin the alleyway outside the bowling alley—thanks to Epsilon acting like they own the fucking bathroom and saying,it’s full.It’s pathetic and about the only ammunition they have. I’m not letting them get to me.
Luna’s therapist, on the other hand…
My face is still hot. The interaction didn’t go so well. Been playing on repeat in my head.
Dr. Raven:Luna shouldn’t be worried about being in a relationship right now.
Me:She wants to be around me.
Dr. Raven:She’s only attached to you because of the trauma she’s experienced. She has no real memories of you.
Then she started prodding about my birthday gift.What’d you get her, Donnelly?I don’t consider the Fanaticon Convention tickets a birthday present anymore when Luna can’t remember me giving them to her, andI haven’t had much time to go shopping recently. Didn’t even have time to buy a new costume for her party. So I pulled out the one I wore on Halloween, which is what I wore when I kissed Luna for the first time.
