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“You didn’t turn on our family?”
What family?I shake my head to him. “No.”
“Then how the hell are you still workin’ for Loren fucking Hale after your cousins kidnapped his daughter and beat up his wife?” His eyes flash hot, fear in them. That I’m duping him, and I am. A wire is hot against my chest. Been wearing one under my shirt the whole time. But I need his help. I can’t do this without him.
I snuff my cigarette on the lip of a Fizz can. “They don’t think I’m close to you guys.”
“They can’t be that dumb.”
I look over at him, wondering if he can see my fear too. “What I tell you has to stay between you and me, you have to promise.”
“What’s this about—”
“You’ve gotta swear, Dad.”
His face falls hearing me call himdad.Then he says, “What’d I tell you? You can trust me and only me in our family. I won’t say shit to anyone.”
I nod a few times.Here it goes.“I’m dating his daughter—that’s why they won’t fire me.”
Realization sobers his face. “The girl.” He thinks this over, eyeing me again and his lip rises in a faraway smile. “How long have you been with her?”
“Not long enough,” I mutter.
He stretches an arm out and touches the back of my head, like I’m his kid. Then he pulls away and lights a cigarette. “So you’re scared your cousins are gonna pull some stupid shit if they know you’re with her?”
My stomach roils. “Something like that, yeah.”
“They’re locked up. They’re not gonna sneeze on her. You don’t need to worry about ‘em.”
“I know how it looks though,” I say to him. “I get my job back. I’m dating Luna. Like you said, itstinks, and I don’t want them thinking I turned on them. What will happen? You tell me.”
His face darkens. He sucks harder on the cigarette. He doesn’t paint that picture. “Quit your job then. Don’t date the girl.”
I rotate more to him. “What if you tell ‘em I’m using her just to keep my job? That it’s not real. Me and her. That I don’t even like her, really.” It hurts less saying this with the worse alternatives on the table. “You can tell them that.”
He considers this with a tip of his head. “Eh, maybe…they might buy it.” He pauses. “Only if you prove it down the line.”
This is the only way. “You’ll help cover for me?” I ask him. “When Ollie and all of them start asking questions…?”
He says nothing at first.
Desperation claws at my back. “I just want themoutof my life. Out of her life. Nowhere near us or her family.”
“What about me?” he asks. “You want me out of your life too?”
I go eerily still. Before all of this, my honest answer woulda beenyeah.Now, though, I’m questioning what a life would look like with him in it. For real. And it’s terrifying that I’d even want it.
My unoiled joints loosen, and I motion to him. “You’re the one I’m coming to. No one else. Ionlywant to talk to you. You get that?”
He starts nodding. “Yeah, I do.” One last drag, he asks, “Loren Hale isn’t gonna be pissed you’re hanging around me? In your fancy ass car.”
“Boss’s car,” I say, on edge. “Is that ayes?”
“Yeah, I’ll help you.” His lips gradually rise in another smile. “You’re my son.” He pats my shoulder. “This is what dads are for.”
Wouldn’t know.He hasn’t been much of one, but he’s trying now. What I’m asking isn’t small, and this is the second time he’s coming through for me when I really need him.
Relief eases my muscles, a sense of safety washing down me like plunging into a lagoon. Coming out clean, anew. And I know I’m going to be okay. I wonder if this is what it feels like to have a father.
