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She’s already sitting against the headboard, and I join her, neither of us reaching for our clothes. It’s warm in her room, and the sheets tangle around our legs.
While I open the sketchbook and she takes a drag of the vape, I’m about to start the conversation where we left off, but she rotates more to me and asks, “Was that the first time you’ve had sex with masks?”
I shake my head and search her eyes. “Your first?”
“I’ve tried, but no one ever really wanted to.”
“Their loss, my gain,” I say and catch sight of her smile. “I have nine years on you though. I’m sure someone else would’ve saidyesthe older you got.”
“I don’t want anyone else to sayyes,” she admits, and it drives an arrow through my heart. Cupid did a number on me with this girl.
I skim her. “Have you had sex on your period before?”
She stares at the vape in her hand. “I wanted to.”
I stiffen. I’m not gonna like this story, I can already tell. “What happened?”
“Andrew said it was unhygienic.”
My brows shoot up. “That fucking—”
“I shouldn’t have believed him. It was dumb—”
“No, he’s a fuckingdick.”
“Everyone likes all different things.” She shrugs. “I think he was just turned off by it.”
“So what if he was?” Heat flames my chest. “His go-to was to make you feel like shit instead of just saying that.” I motion to her lamp. “Lava lamp, ceiling, Moondragon—new life update: I now severelyhateher asshole of an ex.”
Luna tries not to smile. “Donnelly.”
“What a fucking loser.” I’m stewing. “I wanna kick him outta Philly.”He’s not even from here.
“Wishes.”
“Will come true someday,” I finish for her and try to go back to the sketch, but that has me hot. The only thing cooling me down is Luna’s smile.
I think about how she wanted to fuck in five minutes. How she might be worried this won’t repeat after today.
“We’ll have tomorrow,” I tell her. “I’m not changing my mind.”
She thinks for a second. “I wouldn’t fault you if you decided tomorrow that this wasour last sex.I’d get it.” She shrugs again and passes me the vape. “I’m just being realistic.”
“I’m just being honest,” I say. “I don’t want to reestablish a boundary that we’ve already broken.”
Luna frowns. “It’s not like we haven’t done that before.”
I know.God, I fucking know. I rake a hand through my hair and then find a blank page in my sketchbook. I blow smoke off to the side, away from her, and pass the vape back. “It’s different this time. I want it to be different.”
She nestles against my side, her cheek on my shoulder. “Why?”
“‘Cause you don’t deserve to be in pain while I deal with my family, and that’s what being physically away from each other is starting to be.”
Painful.
“You don’t deserve it either,” she says so quietly; I strain my ears to hear. We don’t say much for the next few minutes. She smokes. I draw. Until Luna whispers, “Donnelly?”
“Yeah?” I lift my pen off the paper.
