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I bit my lip as I turned to face him. He was close, his body poised beside mine like he was waiting for me to calm down so he could catch me. He would always catch me.
"But what do you want? This can't just be about me."
Lloyd smirked, the look making him even more attractive than before. "I want you. Always have and always will. Whether it's friendship or more, it's up to you."
"What about those girls you dated? Wouldn't that mean you're straight?" It had nearly killed me when he started dating. Back then, I was jealous because him going on a date meant I got less time with him. I think it took until the fourth girl for me to realize that it wasn't his time I wanted. It was everything.
I want all his time, his hugs, his kisses. I wanted his body and mine to come together in all the most intimate ways. And since we were almost eighteen, I figured now would be the best time to say something. You know, before my father tried to marry me off to one of his friends’ daughters. Not that he'd even indicated such. I just had a feeling.
"Those girls were me trying to convince myself I couldn't have you. Up until a few months ago, I would have thought you not to care about anything romantic at all. Your attitude towards everything was mediocre."
"So, you don't like girls?" I asked. My mind was a jumbled mess as I tried to keep up with his replies.
Lloyd reached his hand out to touch my cheek. I sucked in a breath, my body alive with that feeling. The one deep in my belly that felt like I might burst if I don't do ... something... with him.
"Girls are ok. But they're not you." He leaned forward slowly, his intention clear in his expression as his eyes focused on my lips.
The moment we touched, everything clicked into place. I'd suspected my feelings for my best friend were big, but it was different to guess than it was to know. And now I knew.
He was perfect for me in every way. Not only did he protect me, but he made me feel like I was able to do anything I put my mind to. He was my biggest supporter and my biggest ally.
There wasn't a big moment in my life so far that he hadn't been a part of. Not since that day on the playground.
The kiss wasn't long at first. Just a short pressure of our lips together before he pulled back. His breaths came out in pants, as if he'd been holding himself back.
I saw it then. The desire in his gaze. It reflected my own feelings.
I didn't wait another second before slamming my lips to his. This would change things between us, but I didn't care so long as there was always anus.
* * *
Twenty-one years old
"You can't just make decisions with him like that, Lloyd! I am a grown ass man." I shouted at my boyfriend-bodyguard man. I never knew how to label him these days since so much of the real us was kept quiet. We couldn't risk my father's wrath or the scrutiny of others if they knew what we did at night.
He hadn't even bothered to look up from his phone for this conversation. I watched as he sent off another text before finally looking at me.
His gaze was hard. Immovable. That's what they called him. Because he was so fucking big and stubborn as hell. This time was no different.
"I will not risk your safety for this, Dante. Stop fucking asking to go with me."
I shook my head as I pointed a finger at him. We were in the back of one of the town cars my father employed. The privacy window was up, which meant the two of us were arguing like the old married couple we practically were.
"You don't get to make those decisions for me. Not here. Not on this scale. If they want a fucking meeting with me, then they can have it. I'm the heir to the Cosa Nostra. What are they going to do to me?"
"KILL YOU!" He roared. "They're going to fucking try to kill you. Don't you get it, Dante? They want your head on a platter for refusing to marry their daughter all those years ago. Grudges like that don't just disappear."
I knew what he was saying, but I felt different about the situation. He was right in that I had turned down the opportunity to build an alliance. My father had asked why I refused, to which I told him I felt my focus belonged on our men and the growth we needed. I'd appealed to his greed, to his need for our name to carry on, and it had worked. He put off any type of engagement for many years to come.
That was three years ago, which meant time was definitely ticking. We'd expanded well past our initial strongholds. There were Cosa Nostra as far as the eye could see, metaphorically speaking. With the business booming, it was only a matter of time before my father sat me down to demand marriage to someone of his choosing.
But I just needed a little more time. I needed to prove to him that I could be great, just like he was, so he'd believe me when I told him I needed to marry Lloyd. It would be a big fucking leap asking for my future second-in-command to become my husband as well but fuck it. If I HAD to marry someone, then it was damn sure going to be him.
"You wouldn't let anyone near me. They'd never get the chance to hurt me." I gave him a sultry look as I crawled over to him. "Isn't that right, Daddy?" The last part came as a whisper just in case the driver could somehow hear us. It wasn't a big chance, but still, I would never risk it.
Lloyd sobered quickly, the anger draining from him as he pulled me onto his lap. "I should spank this gorgeous ass of yours for trying to defy me, baby."
I pouted up at him, sinking further into the role we'd stumbled upon about a year ago. We'd been drinking in my room to celebrate a new business operation. When Lloyd had stolen the bottle from my lips and declared no more, I'd stuck my tongue out and said, "You're not my Daddy!" I'll never forget the heat that burned in his eyes, nor the way he kissed me after telling me that he "damn well was" my Daddy.
