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I twist a bit and grab the bottle from the stand, open it, and pass it to him.
He takes it and grins my way. Not the kind of smile I was waiting for, but definitely an improvement to the grouchy expression he was sporting only a moment ago.
“You spoil me so, sweetheart,” he jokes.
I laugh a little.
“Drink some, baby,” I encourage him, pointing at the bottle.
He looks down at it and sighs, then brings it to his lips and takes a tiny sip before passing me the bottle again.
I frown, caressing his shoulder. “Love, you should drink a bit more…”
He looks at me and shakes his head. “I will in a bit. I couldn’t keep down more if I tried right now.”
“Stupid jet lag!” I mumble, and he chuckles a bit as I put the bottle back down on the stand and lie at his side again for more cuddles while my brain goes round and round a mile a minute like the Road Runner as I try to find the right words to no avail and keep quiet.
Okay, I will find my spine again at some point. I’m sure of it.
The right words don’t come, but something gives me away because my very perceptive husband taps my shoulder to get my attention.
“Baby, you’re so tense… what’s up? Is something the matter?”
I shake my head and try to talk, but again the words don’t come. Emotion chokes me. I try to sign, and my hands shake too much.
Carson frowns down at me. I can see he’s getting worried, and I feel ten kinds of stupid because I meant to make him feel better, and instead, I’m mangling this and making things worse.
“Baby?”
I nod, like a ninny, hoping against hope that he will magically get it since the easy two words I need to spit out suddenly feel so difficult to get out around the knot in my throat.
Then it hits me. No words needed. I reach into my pocket and get the little stick out, my eyes trained on my husband’s beloved face so I don’t miss his first reaction.
I gulp down air, feeling like I’m about to float away from this bed.
In the semi-darkness of the room, it takes him a minute to figure out what I'm holding out to him, but then he's picking the little stick of plastic that's going to change our lives forever, and his eyes widen. He studies it for a long moment, his eyelashes flitting like dark butterfly wings. After what feels like an hour, but it's probably only a moment, my husband looks up at me, his hand closing around the stick and trembling a little. That's when I get the smile I was waiting for. His face lights up like the Fourth of July, and a Christmas Tree wrapped together. Pure bliss descends on his features and warms my heart, and makes it race and slow down all at once like nothing else in this world ever could.
“Oh, I’m so… so… I can’t even– Really? Oh, God! I love you so much, Little Beauty… so much!”
‘Love you, too, Carson… so very much,’I sign.
He chuckles. “I can’t believe this… this is so amazing! You’re… we’re… ”
I nod at him, smiling so big my face hurts a little. “…Pregnant,” I finish for him, and his face softens when he hears my voice.
“We’re having a baby…” he sim-coms, an expression that’s very clearly a mixture of love and awe on his face.
My eyes fill with tears as I look at him, his evident happiness nourishing my own.
Carson reaches for me and drags me onto his chest. I feel him laughing as he kisses all over my face and neck. My arms go around his neck, and I cling to him, laughing and crying at the same time.
We stay like that for a very long time, just kissing, cuddling, laughing. No words needed.
Then he pushes me slightly away and makes one single sign: ‘Family’.
I nod, grinning at him, and sign it right back.
Epilogue 4
