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My chest hurts.
Shit, even just thinking about talking to her once and then letting her out of my grasp makes everything inside of me constrict on itself.
I drop my face in my hands.
I'm so fucking fucked that there are no fucking words.
The apology.
I need to focus on the apology.
I don't know sign language, and there's no way I can learn to sign more than a couple of words in the two hours I've got before Mia starts her shift.
A small part of me calls bullshit.
'I'm sorry.' It's only a couple of words, after all. I could pull it off and then be done.
But I don't want to.
I need to be able to tell her way more than 'I'm sorry.'
I pick up my iPad from where it's lying on its charging pad on the coffee table and open the note app, nodding to myself.
I'm going to use the tablet to apologize to her.
Easy peasy.
CHAPTER8
Carson
As it turns out, not so easy, after all.
I've spent nearly an hour walking back and forth between the hotel's main hall and the employers’ entrance in the back, practically casing the place like some obsessed stalker. Not a good look for someone who normally hates that type of shit.
I don't fucking chase behind women. Ever.
And yet here I am.
I try to tell myself once more the lie that I'm just going to apologize to my little beauty, but even the fact that I'm calling her that in my mind, even now that I know her name, should tip me off that I'm kidding myself.
Then again, thinking about her name turns my cock to stone, so I'm not sure it would make much of a difference in helping me believe that I'm just here to be polite and to put things back to right if I were to use it instead of Little Beauty.
It takes another half an hour and countless ignored texts from my still clueless bandmates before I finally spot her walking in.
I take one look at her, and my mind goes blank, my nostrils flare, my hands clench into hard fists, and let's just say I'm happy I decided to wear a long coat over my jeans before I left the suite. I don't think I've ever gone this fucking hard this fast in my life. The rush of blood leaves me a bit dizzy.
But, fuck me, Miareallyis a thing of beauty. If possible, she's even prettier now that she looks at ease rather than scared.
I need to make my move before she disappears behind one of thosestaff-onlydoors, or I'll be waiting who knows how long to have a moment with her. I jog up to her just as she turns her back to me, eyes on her phone.
I call out to her and then roll my eyes at my own stupidity. She can't hear me.
I slow my stride so as not to spook her as I approach her, and I gently tap her shoulder to get her to turn around.
Mia does, and I can see that there's a smile on her full, plump lips. A smile that falls immediately off as she looks up at me and sees who I am. She takes a step back.
I take a step back as well and move my hands in front of me, palms-out, trying to signal to her that I mean her no harm.
