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Her smell is everywhere. She has invaded every fiber of my bedroom. Every thought in my head. I’m stripping the sheets in a desperate attempt to exorcize her from the space when there’s a knock on the door.
“Come in.” I wad up the bedding and toss it towards the closet. I might have to burn it to get rid of the strawberries and cream smell of her.
I expect it to be Niles checking to see if there’s anything he can help with, but Yasha pokes his head in. When he sees me, he manages to look even more smug than Anya.
“Long time, no see, partner.”
“Could be longer.” I wave him towards the still open door, hoping he’ll take a hint and leave. But he doesn’t budge.
“I can’t remember the last time you didn’t have your phone on you. This might be a first, actually.”
I rip Cora’s pillowcase off the pillow. Then I see a long strand of her hair tangled in the threading and think better of it. I throw the entire pillow into the pile. I’ll buy new ones.
“A lot of firsts are happening here,” Yasha continues. “According to everyone I talked to, Cora is the first woman you’ve ever brought into your bedroom.”
I whip around. “Who is ‘everyone’? Who did you talk to?”
“Niles.”
I narrow my eyes. “Bullshit. Niles isn’t a gossip.”
“Yeah, but he’s also a shit liar,” he says. “I asked him if Cora was the first woman you’d brought to your room and he tried to dodge the question. But I could tell. She was, wasn’t she?”
Change of plans. Stripping the sheets won’t be enough.
I need to strip memories. I need to turn back time and rewrite the past twenty-four hours.
Anytime anyone mentions her or this weekend, I’ll remember what she felt like underneath me. The way her calf wrapped around my thigh. The scrape of her nails on my shoulder blades and the whispered moan of her breath against my chest as I filled her.
Even amnesia won’t be enough. Mybodyremembers hers.
I’m not sure I’ll ever fully be rid of her.
“If you’re such a good reader of people, go ahead and tell me what this means.” I hold up two very specific fingers, one on each hand.
Yasha laughs. “That’s a ‘yes,’ obviously. Considering the two of you spent the entire day in bed—another first for you—I’m guessing it went well?”
I throw the other pillows into the burn pile and drop down onto the mattress. Somehow, the smell of her still surrounds me.
Yasha pushes himself off the wall. “Why are you acting like this is a bad thing? You had a good time. Revel in it. Share details.”
“I’m not telling you a fucking thing.”
Mostly because I don’t want to encourage him when he gets in this kind of mood.
But also because what we just did feels sacred. Personal. If I tell Yasha, I might as well actually set up a webcam. Let the internet share in the deepest, darkest desires of my heart.
“Fine. But at least look like you enjoyed yourself. I know you did.” He leans in, voice low. “We could hear you.”
I grimace and turn my face away. “It was a distraction.”
“So?” He shrugs. “That’s fine. We all need them from time to time.”
“Maybe. But we don’t all have time for them.”
“That’s what I’m here for, Ivan. You can pass some of this shit to me. Let me handle it so you have time to…to fuckingbreathe, man. You need that.”
“I’m fine.”
