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He hums a vague response and nods. But he doesn’t look at me.
“You’re up early, too. What are you working on?”
“Nothing.”
I hesitate for only a second before I walk around his desk and lay my hand over his. “I’m worried about everything you’re worried about, Ivan. Whatever is going on in your life, it matters to me. I want to help.”
He flips his hand over and closes his fingers over mine. “You can’t.”
“Then let me be unhelpfulwithyou.” I spin his chair towards me and settle on his lap. “What’s wrong?”
“You’ve dealt with enough already. Let me handle this.”
I run my hand up his forearm to squeeze the swell of his bicep. “I know you can handle it. You’ve been carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders for most of your life. But I haven’t been doing all of this training for nothing. Let me carry some of it. I want to.”
His hand spreads across my ribs like he’s trying to shield me from whatever’s out there. “It was Konstantin.”
I know no one is standing behind me, but I still feel the urge to glance over my shoulder. “You were talking to him?”
He nods. “He wanted to have a conversation with me… about Katerina coming home.”
“Katerina,” I breathe, my mouth moving before my brain can catch up. “She is… She came back?”
No, she’s gone. Ivan sent her away. His ex-fiancée is half a world away.
“She didn’tcomeback; she wasforcedback.” His fingers tighten on my side. “They found her anddraggedher back. It was Francia’s little parting gift.”
My stomach twists. Ivan’s arm around my waist is the only reason I don’t crumple to the floor. “Me. I—It was me. My fault. When they first kidnapped me, I thought Francia was… She made me think she was my friend. I told her you sent Katerina away so she would trust you. It was all a trick. It’s my fault that they found her. It’s my fault that—”
“Look at me.” Ivan pulls me closer and forces my eyes to his. “None of this is your fault, Cora. None of it. The only people responsible are the Sokolovs, Alexander, and Francia. I’ll make sure every last one of them pays.”
I suppress a shiver and a gallon of guilt I’ll definitely have to wade through later. “So why did Konstantin call to tell you Katerina was back? What did he want?”
“The same thing he has wanted for years.” His jaw clenches before he can force the words out. “He wants me to marry her.”
I know this. Konstantin hasn’t exactly been subtle about how much he wants Ivan to marry into his family.
What I don’t know is why Ivan looks like this is a death sentence.
His hand fists in the fabric of my shirt. “Konstantin wants me to choose. He wants me to pick between Katerina and…”
“Me,” I whisper as understanding finally sinks in. “And if you choose me… she dies.”
He leans forward so his forehead is resting on my chest. “I got her out of this city in the first place because I knew they’d kill her. She didn’t want any part of this world, of this life. I knew Konstantin would kill her rather than lose her, so I sent her away. Now, he has her back.”
I stroke my fingers through the hair at the back of his neck. That bit of silky friction is the only thing keeping me tethered to reality instead of blasting off into a full-on freak-out. “I don’t want someone to die because of me.”
“This isn’t because of you. This is because ofme. And I’m fucking stuck,” he growls. “If I choose you, Katerina dies. And if I choose—”
Before he can even say it, I grab his stubbled face. Our eyes meet for only a second before Ivan tightens his arms around me and our lips crush together.
I shift so I’m straddling him in his desk chair, my feet on the floor. My sleep shirt slips up my thighs and Ivan strokes his calloused fingers over my skin. Just that little touch has me on fire.
I can’t give this up. I can’t walk away.
“I can’t even hear you say youcouldbe with someone else,” I whisper, breathing heavily. “How am I supposed to let it actually happen?”
He grips my hips and settles me over his waist. “If I choose you, they’ll come after you even more than they already have. And if Idon’tchoose you, they’llstillfucking come after you. So much has happened that they want revenge. They can’t take it out on me, so they want to take it out on you.”
