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I can't believe I just said that out loud when said dick is rubbing against me so deliciously. I can tell my response shocks him because you can see it all over his face. It’s also evident in the way his mouth drops open.
“That sounds like you're trying to challenge me, Buttons.”
“Maybe, I am. Are you up to it?” I ask.
“I’m going to make you like me, Tillie.”
“I do like you,” I insist.
A hum in the back of his throat is his only response as he looks at me incredulously.
“Well, I mostly do,” I tell him.
“You don't trust me,” he points out.
Is that really a surprise?I shrug. “I don't trust a lot of people.”
He moves his hands up my arms to the sides of my face, his fingers twirling into my hair.
“I want you to trust me,” he says intently.
“Why?” I ask, surprised that the question tumbles out of my mouth. I cover by keeping it going. “It's not like we see each other that much. This is sex, Ryder.”
“Baby, if I'm going to stick my dick in you, I'm definitely going to see you a hell of a lot.”
“I don't see how. I live here, and you live in Dallas and rarely come home for a visit.”
“You can drive, Buttons. I’m not that far away. You can come to me when I can't be here, and when I can, I'll come to you.”
Now I'm the one frowning. This is the last thing I expected. “Do you do that for all the women you sleep with?” I ask dryly, not bothering to resist being snarky as hell. I don’t see him going out of his way for me.
“I'm not going to lie to you. When I first moved away from Pine Ridge, I took advantage of every bat-bunny that came my way.”
“Bat-bunny? Is that like buckle-bunnies at the rodeos?” I ask.
He nods solemnly like I'm going to judge him for it. I don’t blame him. His pick of girls, his time to shine, that’s a far different lifestyle than living here in Pine Ridge.
“Why does this matter? We're not in a relationship, Ryder. I don't understand why we need to have this discussion.”
“Does a relationship with me sound that bad?” he asks, schooling his features.
I can tell he's taking it personally and trying not to show it. I don’t want to continue this conversation because hell, I’m just here…confused.“Do you truly want a relationship with me, Ryder?” I ask. I don’t know why I ask. It’s not like I’ll believe him if he says he does. Maybe I do it just because I’m feeling lost.
“Yeah, I’m pretty sure I do, Buttons,” he says. His response is not fully clear, still it makes me happy—well, mostly. “What about you, Tillie? How do you feel about me?”
I close my eyes. I know I can't confess to Ryder that I've damn near loved him since I saw him standing at Emmie's locker on my first day of school. It would make me sound pathetic. I've fought for a long time not to be that person. I'll never be someone others will mock and pity ever again. I made that vow to myself years ago and it’s one I intend on keeping.
I don't know what that means when it comes to Ryder. I want him for sure, but a relationship is different. Even if it's casual, I don't know that it's something I want to risk.
“I don't think I'm ready for that,” I tell him honestly.
He frowns, thinking it over. “Is there someone else?”
“Huh?”He’s joking, right?
“Is it my brother? Is Tucker the reason you don't want to explore this thing between us, Tillie?”
“Stop that. Your brother doesn't think of me like that, and there's nothing between you and me.”
