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It should be said that I’ve liked my life. As miserable as I was in high school, the total opposite was true after I got out. I discovered I like who I am. I don’t need fake best friends beating down any self-esteem I try to gather. I’m my own worst enemy, I don’t need others. Therefore, I began seeing that although I’d never fit into the homecoming queen mode, I still had a lot to offer. Even Keith helped me see that. We were never well matched, but he helped me feel beautiful at times—especially in the beginning. I liked my life and I truthfully liked who I became. So, I was…happy.The happiness I feel right now, though?It’s totally different.It feels like a long-lost missing piece of me has been found. What the piece is exactly, I couldn’t say. I just know it feels damn good.
“Oh,” I respond. “When do you have to go back?”
I don’t miss the grimace that moves over his features. “I’m due back tomorrow, but I’m not ready to leave you.”
His words make me hurt and feel good all at the same time.He doesn’t want to leave me.There’s futility in those words, but that doesn’t mean they don’t feel good too.
“We live different lives,” I agree, but he shakes his head, not accepting my response.
“It doesn’t have to be that way.”
I reach up to touch the side of his face, wishing to smooth out the lines I find there. “My life is here and yours is in Dallas, Ryder.”
“People make long distance relationships work every day, Tillie. Hell, we’re not even that far apart. I can be here in nineteen hours, faster if I push it.”
“That’s still a two-day drive.” I keep going with my train of thought. I can’t allow myself false hope. I need to be realistic in all things when it comes to Ryder Monroe.
“I can do it in one,” he counters stubbornly.
“Not safely, and there’s no way I can. Plus, I have a lot of responsibility at the store. I’m lucky if I get two days off and they almost never happen in a row, Ryder.”
“Thank fuck there’s this handy invention called an airplane,” he mutters.
“Honey—”
“I have a shit-ton of miles saved up and even if I didn’t, I can afford to fly my woman out for the weekend.”
My heart speeds up, something warm and sweet unfurls in my belly. “Your woman?”
“After last night? You better fucking believe it.”
I take a deep breath and it shudders through my body as I try to get control of my emotions. “Aren’t we rushing things a little bit?”
“Buttons, I just spent the night making you come with my hand and my tongue. If you think I’m going to stand back and let someone else take you away from me, you’re insane.”
“I’m not sure… I mean, sharing what we shared… Doing what we did…”
“Tillie—”
“It was good,” I interrupt. He lets out an annoyed breath of air and I look up to catch the censure on his face. I sigh. “It wasreallygood.”
“Damn straight.”
“Still, it was just two consenting adults fooling around. I’m not sure what we did should bring us to the point where we’re discussing long distance relationships and me being, well…”
“Well?”
“Your woman,” I finish. I’m out of my depth. I feel so much out of it that I’m dizzy with it.
“Did you enjoy what we shared last night?” he asks, and I feel my cheeks heat.
“You got me off once and gave me a huge orgasm. Then, you woke me up later that night and gave me two more. I’m pretty sure if I denied that I enjoyed it, lightning would crash into the house and send me straight to hell,” I mutter.
His body starts shaking and I look up at him again to find that he’s trying to control his laughter—and failing very badly. He leans down to touch his lips to mine and gives me a squeeze.
“So, in the hopes of preserving your parents’ roof, I’m going to go with you. I reallyenjoyed last night. Now, this was a fact that I already surmised, but it’s damn good to hear you echo it.”
“I did, but you still didn’t let me finish you off. That means all this was kind of one-sided.”
