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Despite my nickname, I've really only ever wanted to be a one-woman man. I don't like dating. I wanted to have a woman in my life who's my partner, a woman I could care for, spoil, and build a life with. Those were things my parents instilled in me growing up on the ranch. While the ranch itself isn’t inside me, those things always have been.
I used to try to see Emily in that role—a very long time ago. But she never fit. If I'm honest, she never fit in the mold, no matter how I tried to imagine it. Tillie? I can see her in my life easily—more with every day that passes. I may not have been looking for her, but she hit me like a ton of bricks, and I know there's no turning back now.
Tucker and I go back to the alley between the diner and the bank. Tucker stops walking, abruptly turning to face me. I look at him, watching and waiting for him to either hit me or get shit off his chest. I don't know which one is coming first, but I know for sure one of them is.
“Bastard,” Tucker growls out between his teeth.
That's the only warning I get as he lunges toward me. I try to sidestep, but Tucker nails me in the gut. Shoving him back away from me, I throw a right cross, catching him in the jaw. We trade jabs, with Tucker getting a few good punches in. One splits my lip and a bitter metallic taste blooms across my tongue. I spit it out, wiping my mouth on the back of my hand, breathing hard at this point. Tucker isn't faring much better. He’s holding his ribs, already sporting swelling under his eye. At least I gave him a shiner.
We stare at each other, both breathing hard.
“You had no reason to touch Tillie! She's not like the girls you normally bury your dick in,” Tucker growls. “Tillie has substance with a tender heart. You're going to hurt her.”
“I know she's different. I'm not planning on hurting her.”
Tucker laughs sarcastically. “Do you really expect me to believe that?”
I glare at my brother, showing him my patience is wearing thin. “I don't have to tell you shit about what's going on between Tillie and me. That's private, but I'm not trying to hurt her. I want her.”
Tucker barks out a laugh. “Want. Seems that's all a woman is to you. Something you can have until you get tired of her. Tillie is better than that. She deserves better than you.”
I rub my chin as I nod my head. “Oh right, so you mean she deserves you, right Tucker? That's what you want. You want Tillie for yourself.” I watch his jaw tick. He doesn’t admit or deny a damn thing, but then, he doesn’t need to.We both know the truth.“Well, you can't have her.”
“She liked me!” Tucker argues. “We were getting there, but here you come storming back to Pine Ridge, swooping in, and using the way Tillie feels for you against her. She was starting to get over you, and now you're going to hurt her all over again."
That stops me. My need to have it out with my brother fades to the background as his words ring in my head.
“The way she feels about me?Hurt her again?What in the fuck are you talking about?” I question, shaking my head.
“Just stop it. Don’t try to play innocent here, Ryder. It’s not going to work. You and that cunt Emily nearly destroyed Tillie,” he seethes. “What's really going on here? You decided now that you're truly not going to the big leagues, you want Tillie to worship you again? Are you looking to get your rocks off by having her tell you how great you are? Is your ego so fragile that you have to hurt her and use her all over again?”
My brother's words have a bite, each one burning like salt in a wound. My mind races trying to pinpoint something—anything—that might help me to understand what he’s talking about, but I can’t figure it out.
Tucker can be an asshole to me, but he’s not a bad person. He's a hard ass for sure, but what he’s saying about Tillie, feels a bit more personal than him trying to stake his claim. It takes everything in me to try and be the voice of reason and push my anger down. I clench my fists, popping my knuckles as I lean forward, letting him see that I'm not playing.
“Tucker, I don't know what the fuck you are talking about, but you better start making sense, or so help me God, I will beat you so damn hard you won't be able to open your mouth for a fucking month.”
“Will you just stop? We all know what happened. Tillie cried about it for weeks,” Tucker says, shaking his head.
I begin to wonder if I hit him too hard because I have no idea what he's saying. “Seriously, cut the bullshit. What are you talking about?”
“You son of a bitch. You're still going to play dumb? Go ahead, but we all know,” Tucker says through gritted teeth. “Tillie's mom told ours, and I heard them talking. I know what you did.”
“That’s great for you, but I wish like fuck you'd tell me,” I tell him, throwing my hands up in exasperation. I'm done with him talking in circles.
“You wrote Tillie a letter inviting her to skinny dip with you at Carver Lake. Told her that you loved her and wanted a special night with her before you went for open tryouts in the fall. You wanted to reconnect with her and show her how special she was before you left. Then, when she showed up expecting you to show her that you cared for her, she saw you and Emily in the lake, going at it like rabbits.”
Horror rolls through me. She told me about going up there but never mentioned who the man was. She told me shelovedhim.
Fuck.
“I—”
“Fucking hell,” Dakota interjects.
Tucker and I both turn quickly to see Dakota and Tillie standing there. Tillie has tears coursing down her face, a look of utter betrayal on her face. Before I can say anything, she spins around and takes off.
I try to run after her, but Tucker grabs me by the shirt.
