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“Tillie—”
“The truth is, I’ve only felt truly alive when you’re around.”
“Sweetheart—”
“I’m not asking for promises, Ryder. I just want you.”
“Fuck me,” he hisses, his words startling me.
“What?” I ask, unsure if he’s upset or if that’s an invitation. It’s an invitation I wouldn’t mind taking him up on, but at the same time I wonder if I have the courage.
“I was a blind fool.”
“I don’t know what—”
“I had the world within reach, Tillie, and I couldn’t see it.”
“I don’t understand.”
“I’m giving you promises, sweetheart. We do this and there’s no looking back. We only go forward.”
“Ryder…”
“I'm not pressuring you, Tillie. You can take all the time you want. I’ll be right here waiting, but I’m not stopping at one night with you. We do this, we go forward together.Webecome anus.”
“An Us? Are you saying you want me to be your girlfriend?” I sound incredulous, but I can’t help it. I am.
“I want much more than that, but we will begin there.”
“You don’t have to say all this, Ryder.”
He moves to take my hand in his. I thought he wanted to hold hands, but that’s not it. Slowly he pulls my hand down so that he’s able to cup it over his hard cock. “Trust me, Buttons.” His words sound like a plea. They’re soft, filled with an emotion that I can’t identify and that—combined with the gentleness on his face—is my undoing. My hand stretches over the outline of his length, and I squeeze on reflex. “I’m right where I want to be. I’m telling you what I want, not what might get me laid. If you aren’t ready, we can wait. I’m not going anywhere. You’re all I want.”
“You are though. You have to go back to Texas.”
“We talked about that, Tillie. If we want to, we can make the distance work.”
“Ryder…” I sigh.
“And, Buttons, Ireallyfucking want this to work.”
I swallow, unable to look away from him. “Where does that leave us?” I breathe out, feeling as if I’m about to jump off a cliff.
“You need to decide if you need more time or if you’re ready to keep going forward with me. I’m telling you right now that I’m good with either decision, because I’m with you and that’s better than anything I’ve ever had.”
“Yeah, right.”
“I’m telling you the truth.”
“You barely know me,” I point out.
He lets out a deep breath and shakes his head. “Forget it,” he growls.
I move away from him, my heart feeling as if it is being submerged in pain. It’s my own fault. I kept giving him reason to back out. I should have just taken what he offered. I could have at least had a taste of him.
“Okay,” I whisper, fighting for breath. I know I’m trembling, but I ignore it. I can’t let him see me crumble. That will happen after he leaves.When I’m alone.I gasp as he moves quickly, shifting us in bed so that he’s over me and I’m flat on my back. “Wh-what are you doing?” I squeak, as he captures my hands above my head in one of his.
“I’m going to fuck you until you realize just how much I want you, Buttons,” he whispers his hot breath fanning against my skin as he runs his nose along my neck. His voice is low and throaty, and I bite my lip to keep from moaning. “And if you’re a really good girl, after I fuck you, I’ll take you again, slower and much softer.”
