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“Dangles did,” Henry admits. “Wasn’t his fault really. Homer messed up.”
“You’ve always blamed me. It’s your fault. I told you to put him between your legs.”
“I was trying,” Henry growls at his brother. “Dangles was just too wiggly. I put him between my legs for the actual deed.”
“Deed? What exactly happened?” Brenda questions, sitting down in the chair beside Tillie.
Jesus. This is part of smalltown living that I didn’t miss.
“Well, we caught Dangles easily enough. That cat always did come running if you had a piece of cheese nearby. Then, Homer got out the wool sock.”
“Wool sock?” Ms. Lane asks, showing she’s listening too.
“Yeah, I keep them for the winter. My feet get cold. Always did really, but it’s worse in the winter. Still, you want wool socks. The thick ones like that will keep you from losing a finger—unless you’re stupid and forget and put your hand in the wrong place.”
“Homer, damn it! It could have happened to anyone.”
“I didn’t know cats could bite hard enough to eat part of a finger,” Brenda murmurs.
“Well, he didn’t. The bite got infected to the point it had to be stopped,” Homer explains, waving the comment off because he’s intent on telling his story. The old geezer always did like being the center of attention. “Anyway, Henry held the sock open and I stuffed old dangles into it headfirst.”
“Headfirst?” Brenda squeaks. It should be said that Brenda is a big cat lover. She has like ten and every single one of them is spoiled. Mace, the owner of the diner, isnota cat lover. He personally uses duct tape to her clothes to relieve her of cat hair before she is allowed to work. She’s tried to get him to use a lint roller and says she gets the hair off before she even comes to work, but he ignores her. I honestly think he does it because he likes to. I haven’t lived here in six years or so and nothing has changed on that front. I personally think he’d claim her and move her in if it wasn’t for the cats. My gaze moves to Tillie. I’m not a big cat person, but I think I’d even put up with them if it kept her in my bed every night.
“You did not!” Ms. Lane cries and I realize I’ve ignored the conversation around me to think about Tillie in my bed every night.Fuck, I’ve got it bad.
“What? That’s just the way it’s done. You lock their head between your legs and then hold their hindquarters up, spreading their legs really wide,” Henry says.
“Yeah, you need to spread them wide,” He gives Brenda a wink before adding. “You basically spread the legs wider than a two-dollar hooker would on Navy leave week,” Homer adds.
Tillie starts laughing while Ms. Lane gasps, “Oh. My. God.” She draws out the words like she can’t believe it.
“That’s why I had to put his head between my legs. Cats wiggle a lot when they’re in that sock,” Henry explains.
“Oh. My. God,” Ms. Lane says again, her face pale with obvious shock.
I’m not sure why. I’ve been in Texas for a while and even I remember how Homer and Henry are. My gaze moves to Tillie who is giggling. I reach across and squeeze her hand. She looks at me and her face goes soft. She frustrates me, but moments like this keep me going. She has a lot of hang-ups about the past and I know a lot of those are laid at my feet. I’m also pretty damn sure I have Emily to thank for that.
I’ve been a blind fool.
I keep hold of her hand as Homer finishes his story—if he ever does.
“Once Henry did his job, I took out my knife, slit a quick line in the sack to get to Dangles’ family jewels and proceeded to pop them out.”
I wince trying to keep my hand from going down to my balls, covering them in silent protection.
“One worked fine, plopped out and fell on the ground like a walnut out of a tree. That’s when disaster struck.”
“I’m thinking it was way before then,” Dakota mutters.
“You can say that again,” Brenda adds.
“Ole’ Dangles didn’t like what was going on—”
“Which was understandable,” I mutter and that makes Tillie laugh harder. I squeeze her hand, relieved the tension from our earlier conversation has dissipated.
“Henry thought it would be a good idea to move his hand from one of the legs to the back to hold Dangles steadier.”
“Thatwas a mistake,” Henry mutters. “Damn thing bit into my leg so hard, I grabbed it to yank it off, and used my right hand to hold the back of the head.”
