AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Was it fair that she was living life and laughing with the kids, when Kyle couldn’t do that?
Quiet sobs racked her body, and she shook trying to keep it all in. “God,” she whispered against the door. “Help me. I don’t understand the way I feel. I’ve been sad for a long time. Losing Kyle was the worst thing I’ve ever experienced, and I didn’t think I would ever heal from it.” She tried desperately to swallow past the lump in her throat. “I didn’t even want to heal.”
Something washed over her, and she felt the Holy Spirit impress on her,The Lord never wanted you to feel that way.
She remembered something she’d learned as a child at Vacation Bible School when they taught them the shortest verse in the Bible. “Jesus wept.”
“Jesus wept,” she repeated to herself. “He wept over Lazarus dying. He knew what it was like to lose someone. And Jesus left heaven and separated Himself from the Father when He came to earth. God, I know You know how I felt when I lost Kyle.”
I never left you.
The words broke her, and she took a deep breath, trying to muffle the sobs. “I know You didn’t. But I felt alone, and I didn’t know how I would ever make it.” She paused to take a breath. “And now…well, I don’t even know the words. I feel mixed up and not sure what I want. I think it’s because it feels strange to be happy.” She sniffed, realizing that was the truth. “God, that sounds so sad. Kyle wouldn’t want me to be miserable for the rest of my life. Kyle was all about living every day to the fullest. He made the most of his life, and I’m so glad he wasn’t someone who put off living life and having fun until later.” She wiped at her eyes and straightened up, making a decision. “God, thank You for this life You’ve given me. I have three beautiful children, and I had a wonderful husband who loved me and our kids so much. Help me to go on living. Help me to know how to live. Show me what I’m supposed to do. I haven’t thought of much more than getting from one day to the next, but it’s time I think about that. Not only for me, but for the kids. We need to have a life. You said You came to give us life, and life more abundant. I think I’ve been missing that. God, please help me. I love You, God, and even though it was hard for me to believe for a long time, I know You still have good things planned for me.”
In her heart, she felt a peace that she’d known before but that had been missing for a long time. She smiled faintly. Maybe this was the new beginning that she needed. A piece of her heart that felt like it had been missing clicked back into place.
With a quick check of her face in the mirror, she saw that she looked just a little bit different.
For the first time in a long time, there was hope in her eyes.
12
Landon leaned against the wall as he watched Charlotte dancing and talking with her friends. She seemed to be having a great time, and she certainly didn’t look as awkward as Landon felt.
He had thought it would be fun, and it was, but he hadn’t thought about the fact that he wouldn’t know anyone.
He didn’t hang out with a lot of men with young kids, and anyone he knew from work didn’t live in Twin Creeks. Plus, he felt like he wore a neon sign over his head that said, “Not a Dad.”
Did people know that Charlotte’s dad had died? Or would they think he was her dad? Their first incident happened when they arrived and stood in line for pictures.
“Come on, little lady,” the photographer had said. “Step up here and stand next to your dad.”
“Oh,” Charlotte had said quietly. She glanced up at him, as if she didn’t want to hurt his feelings, but she wasn’t sure what to say either.
He winked at her and said, “I’m happy to get a picture with my favorite ten-year-old girl.”
She had giggled then, and they had smoothed over the moment.
Now he wondered how many times he would do that. Was he going to hang around enough to be mistaken for her dad more than once? Landon swallowed hard as his nerves rose. He put his hand to his chest to feel his heart pounding at the thought. Was he doing the right thing? Of course, he didn’t want to hurt Charlotte or any of them. He said he would be there, and he planned to. But what if Hailey found someone else? Would he be able to step aside and let someone else be part of their lives? He shook his head wondering if that would all be confusing for the kids.
What if all of this was only a temporary thing?
Something deep inside him told him he didn’t want it to be. What had started out as keeping a promise to his friend had turned into so much more. He was becoming part of this family, and he liked it. He liked it a lot.
“Landon!” Charlotte came running over to him. “Come and dance with me.” She grabbed his hand and pulled him to the dance floor where fathers and daughters were paired up dancing together.
Landon grinned as he dramatically bowed to her and Charlotte giggled. Then he held out his hand, and she took it. They swayed, and he lifted her hand as she smiled and spun in circles.
He hoped the moment would stay with her forever, and he knew he would never forget it. Because even if he wasn’t her dad, he was exactly where he was supposed to be tonight.
An hour and a half later, after the last song had played, Landon drove Charlotte home. He reminded her to be quiet in case her siblings were asleep.
When they walked inside the house, he found that the kids weren’t the only ones sleeping. He held his index finger up to his lips, and said, “Shh” when he saw Hailey on the couch.
But Charlotte paid no attention. “Mommy,” she said excitedly. “Mommy, we’re home.”
“Oh,” Hailey sat up and yawned. “Hey, sweetie. Did you have fun?”
“Yes! It was the best.”
