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And I had a headache, probably brought on by both. I turned over in bed, staring at the ceiling as the sun beamed in through the sheers on the two big bedroom windows, the bright rays promising a perfect day. Right. That sunny BS could just go away. I wanted a rainstorm. Hell, I wanted a blizzard that would shut down the town, cancel this weekend’s fundraiser and…strand Axel.
That was my problem; I had to admit it. Hewasthe storm. That man had determined to break down all my defenses, and I was scrambling to fill the cracks.
What if I gave in to all my feelings for Axel, to all he wanted from me, and he just…left again? For all I knew, he just wanted a quick reunion fuck to tide him over until the next time he came to town.
I closed my eyes. Damn it. Axel wasn’t like that. I knew him better than that, and the last six years wouldn’t have changed something that intrinsic within him. He had a noble streak in him a mile wide—it was one of the reasons he’d cut off things with a sharp break back then. I thought so anyway. I didn’t understand the why of it, but when I was being reasonable, I knew he hadn’t wanted to string me along. He’d wanted me to be able to move on, to give me a chance at a fulfilling life on my own.
It wasn’t his fault I hadn’t taken those steps.
But it also was, and he didn’t know it. We’d always used protection, but he’d left me with a baby. One I’d just found out about when he or she had been snatched away. I hadn’t decided how to handle the news, though I knew I would love that child with all my heart, then I’d lost the pregnancy. My experience tainted everything—knowing my cousin could be pregnant, seeing another cousin’s wife pregnant, even seeing Axel return here.
If I’d told him when I’d found out, it would have been a weapon to drag him back to Cherish Cove as fast as he’d left. What kind of tectonic fault would that have been? Spending our lives rubbing together, the pressure of lost dreams building, ready to explode into destructive, explosive waves when least expected? It would have poisoned everything we thought we had—more than him leaving did. That was the part I hadn’t known how to handle—yet if the pregnancy had progressed and I didn’t tell him, someone else would have. So I hadn’t said a word. Now, I was the only one who knew that angel had ever existed.
Because of his deep-ingrained sense of right, Axel would have returned; I had zero question I’d held that power. Even last night, when I’d tried to leave the bar without him, he’d quickly followed me right out the door. My knight was ready to fight anything to protect me—even if what he had to battle was me.
As I’d run out, I’d realized he had my car keys, so I’d decided to just walk to my apartment to blow off the steam from my temper. He’d insisted on driving me. Or giving me the keys and walking home himself. He wanted me safe. In the end, I’d let him drive me. At the apartment, we’d parted in silence. I’d slept like crap—if you could call it sleep. Upon thought, that could have been responsible for the headache pounding at my temples, now.
I threw my arm over my eyes to block out the sun, but it didn’t block out sounds. Axel was awake. Judging by the noises, he was in the kitchen banging around. The heavenly scent of coffee wafted my way, trying to tempted me from the covers, then minutes later…bacon taunted me. My stomach growled to confirm my headache and morose feelings were in no way a hangover from my half of a beer.
Geez, I hadn’t even finished one drink. And I’d run out of the bar without saying goodbye to my friends. I’d have to text them all with abject apologies this morning. And I’d have to say something to Axel, too—maybe not an apology but something closely adjacent.
Knuckles lightly rapped on my bedroom door. “Bristol? Baby? I made breakfast.”
Baby? And he made breakfast? Not just for himself but for both of us. As if I hadn’t straight up told him I hated him last night.
I moaned as I remembered my words, not that my actions had been far from my thoughts since night.
They’d been lies. I wished I could hate him. I didn’t.
I wasn’t even sure in what realm of existence that would be possible.
He tapped lightly again.
“Are you okay? Do you need me to bring you anything? Aspirin? Water?” he called when I didn’t answer. Damn it. Why did he have to be so…nice?
“I’m okay,” I rasped, my voice rough from disuse. “I’ll be right out.”
Blowing out a breath, I pushed upright. The weight of the coming day pushed heavily down on me. Last night had been a turning point, whether I wanted it to be or not. He’d been clear on his feelings and I’d spewed mine all over him.
Yet, strangely, today felt like a new canvas lain out before us, ready for us to paint the future. Or…almost ready. We still had a lot of cards to place on the table before the air fully cleared.
Starting this morning with breakfast.
Okay, Bristol, you can do this. Get out of bed and go face your man. Yeah…your man. Stop being stupid.
Sometime in the night, on one of the many times I’d tossed awake, I’d stared at the ceiling and thought about what he’d said, what I’d said, my jumble of feelings over the past six years—most of which were hurt andnotanger. Alone in the darkness with sleep evading me, I’d realized if Axel really,truly, wanted me, then maybe, I should find the courage to take the leap and let him back into my life.
It terrified me.
Levering myself out of bed, I ran a hand through my hair then pulled on a robe. Axel wasn’t in the hallway when I peeked out, so I dashed over to the bathroom to take care of things, which besides the basics, included a swipe of mascara on my eyelashes, a tiny bit of tinted lip gloss and a thorough brushing of my hair to tame the bedhead. I didn’t want to be over-obvious, but I wanted to look human and not zombie-like.
“Good morning,” I murmured, walking into the bright kitchen where the table was set again, today with sunny yellow placemats and napkins. This guy. His mother had trained him well. Out the windows, I saw several bundled-up kids running into the park, two moms in yoga pants with to-go coffees in their hands following behind at a slower pace.
Turning toward the stove, I sucked in a breath at the sight of Axel. He looked ragged, as if he hadn’t slept much last night either. Though his workout clothes wereMen’s Healthmagazine perfect, dark circles marred the divots beneath his eyes and tight lines pulled around his tense mouth. His intent gaze studied me, determined, yet worried by what confrontation would come today.
Still… God, the man was the most beautiful human being I’d ever seen. His unruly dark locks were more mussed than normal, and he even managed to make the purply shadows beneath his eyes appear sexy. A day’s worth of stubble covered his normally clean-shaven cheeks. And none of it detracted one iota from his mouthwatering appearance.
A tight-fitting, cream-colored tee with dark stitching at the seams, strained over his shoulders and pecs, trying to contain that muscular torso and emphasizing his flat, hard belly. Conversely, loose black track pants covered his long, powerful legs and hid the treasures there. Treasures that had only ever been mine, if he were to be believed.
