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"I remember when you used to grip my cock that hard," he rasped, gesturing to my hands white knuckling the counter.
I gasped, taken aback. I didn't realize I was holding on so tight. I released the counter and warmth took over my cheeks. He handed me my cereal, letting his grasp linger, mimicking the hold he still had on my heart.
He left me standing there in shock.
For the first time in years, I had no idea who he was anymore.
24
Dylan
We had been in California for almost a week and had one day left. I hadn’t seen or spoken to Aubrey since that night in the kitchen. I avoided her like the plague.
As far as I was concerned, there was nothing left to say to her.
“You’re such an asshole,” Jacob stated.
I grinned. “Why, whatever do you mean?” I asked with a smartass tone, pulling some random pussy to my side.
“How many girls do you plan on fucking while we’re here? Are you trying to make your way through the sorority house or just continue to piss off Aubrey?”
I laughed. “This has nothing to do with her.”
“It has everything to do with her. She’s staring at you right now. The hurt look on her face pains me, Dylan, and I have nothing to do with it.”
I rolled my eyes. “She should have thought about that before she left me.”
“Why don’t you try talking to her? Maybe hear her out?”
“That would imply that I actually gave a fuck about her.”
I pulled another random girl to my other side, and Jacob shook his head, walking away from me. We were at Cole’s fraternity party, and as much as Alex tried to hide it, I knew her and Cole were together. I caught the looks that they gave each other and the way she would touch him when she thought no one could see them. I didn’t understand why she was trying to hide it from us. I didn’t care who she dated as long as she was happy, and Cole seemed to treat her right.
The night took a turn for the worst when Alex came running up to Jacob to tell him that Austin was high on ecstasy. I wasn’t surprised in the least. The boy had a fucking death wish. After Jacob and I found him in the park and tried to help him, all it led to was our friendship going to Hell in a hand basket. Shit was said that could never be taken back, and my disappointment in both Austin and Jacob at the moment was enough to send me spiraling down a bottle of rum.
I took a swig out of the bottle as I made my way down to the beach. The fiery liquid burned with delight. I wanted to forget. I wanted to pretend like the last fucking hour didn’t happen. I ended up on the beach that was within walking distance of their apartment and I knew that was Aubrey’s doing.
She loved the beach.
I wanted to imagine that I didn’t see her fucking face in front of me, the same face that I desperately tried to forget over the years.
All of it, every memory and emotion hitting me in the face, back to back. Taunting me. Making me feel like the piece of shit I knew I was.
I didn’t want to feel anything.
I didn’t want to remember anything.
I didn’t want to know anything.
I felt as though I was reliving it all over again — the rape, her leaving me, the demise of my life and our love. Falling on me like a ton of fucking bricks, and I couldn’t breathe. I was suffocating. My adrenaline was pumping through my core, and I could feel the sweat pooling at my temples. I walked out into the water, the bottle already half gone. I was numb. I was always numb. Except when I wasn’t.
Women.
Fucking.
“You know there are sharks in there, right?”
I spun to find a brunette standing there and just like that it was gone. I could breathe. “No shit, is that right?”
