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The ache that lived in my soul.
The anguish that consumed my body and mind.
Every. Single. Day.
Was numb for a few precious minutes.
I relished the feeling of the pain that he inflicted, even if it was just for a few minutes. It took away the memories of the person that I had become.
“Fucking look at me!”
I did.
“You don’t defend me to your stupid fucking friend? What kind of a girlfriend are you? A piece of shit one! You’re good for nothing but that pussy between your goddamn legs.”
He kicked me in my stomach and I recoiled in pain, gagging hysterically.
“Get the fuck up, you weak pathetic excuse of a girlfriend!”
I gasped for air, seizing onto my stomach.
“GET THE FUCK UP, AUBREY! You do not want me doing it for you!”
I sat up on my hands and knees, breathing through the pain.
“Aubrey, I’m not going to tell you again,” he warned through gritted teeth.
I hissed through my discomfort, standing hunched over. Blinking through the white spots in my vision as he crudely gripped my chin.
“Dylan is better than me, huh? He’s still waiting for you, isn’t he?”
Silence.
“Answer. Me.”
“No,” I simply stated.
“Tell me you love me.”
“I love you,” I whispered with a lack of emotion in my voice.
“Tell me you know you’re a worthless piece of shit. Tell me that I’m better than him, that I’m better than your Dylan, and you’re lucky to have me.”
I could take the hitting, the physical abuse. It was mild compared to the verbal assault his words inflicted inside me. Like a knife carving my already wounded body. The sting much more intense than anything his hands could ever do to me.
“Look me in the eyes and say it like you fucking mean it. If you don’t, I’ll hurt you until you make me believe that you do.”
I swallowed hard, clenching my ribs where he just hit me so that it would numb the words that were about to come out of my mouth. Each lie that would fall from my lips.
I peered deep into his eyes and murmured, “I’m a worthless piece of shit.”
His eyes dilated, I could see the high my words were giving him and I hesitated for a few seconds.
“You’re better than him and I’m lucky to have you.”
“Better than who, Aubrey? Who am I better than?”
I pressed my ribs harder, wincing through the pain that I wish were from my ribs.
