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The familiarity of it all.
The comfort.
Most of all, I missed my aunt and my dad.
In the blink of an eye, nightfall was upon me. The stars that shined bright above, illuminated against the darkness of the sky with the moon smiling high like a Cheshire cat. The ocean breeze brought a slight chill to the air. I hugged my knees to my body in a reassuring gesture, shielding myself to create some warmth around me. I sat there alone thinking about how much my life had changed in such a short time. I didn’t even realize I’d started crying, spilling tears over everything, over nothing.
A wave of emotions took over, mimicking the ominous waves in front of me, one right after the other. I looked back toward the party that seemed so far away, but still so near. I caught sight of McGraw parading another one of his conquests. All that came to mind was man whore. Rolling my eyes, I looked away from what was about to go down.
Seconds later I heard the shuffling of sand beside me. I immediately locked eyes with him and stood to get away. Wiping away all my tears, he’s the last thing I needed right then.
Except he wasn’t.
He grabbed my wrist to stop me and took a seat where I had once sat, after he made me smile with his relentless flirting. I couldn’t have left even if I wanted to.
And I didn’t want to.
I listened to him describe his childhood with the same sense of longing that I was feeling for my hometown. The sincerity in his tone had caught me off guard, making me feel like I was the only person he had ever shared these memories with. For the first time since we had moved to Oak Island, I didn’t feel so alone anymore. It shocked me that it came from the boy I had convinced myself I needed to stay away from.
The irony was not lost on me.
“Half-Pint?” I interrupted, sitting beside him. I wondered if it was the girl from the restaurant I had seen him with the day before.
“No, suga’.” He turned to look at me. “Your turn.”
I stared into the eyes of the guy who was a walking paradox of contradictions. I was seeing a side to him that he wouldn’t show anyone, and I had no idea why…
All I knew was that I liked it.
I wanted more.
I needed more.
Something deep inside told me I could trust him. I was the first to break eye contact, looking back toward the ocean trying to reel in my emotions that seemed to be taking over, contemplating if I was really going to do this. I could still feel his gaze on the side of my face, burning a hole into my skin, and a part of me knew he sensed that.
The effect he had on me.
Taking a deep breath, I opened my mouth and murmured, “I’m lonely,” just loud enough for him to hear. My eyebrows rose, surprised with my own revelation. I finally admitted my truth out loud.
“My mom and I moved here from California a few weeks before school started. She packed up the only life I’ve ever known in one week, and we drove across country in a few days. I didn’t really have time to process the severity of the situation. I think I was in a state of shock from the news of our upcoming move that I didn’t think of how much my life would change,” I paused, needing a second to gather my thoughts and regain the courage for what I was about to say. For what I had never told anyone, not even my closest friends when they asked why we were moving.
“My dad filed for divorce. I wanted to hate him, I tried to hate him, but I couldn’t. I felt so helpless not knowing whose side to be on or what I was supposed to do. My world was ripped apart because my dad decided he couldn’t do it anymore. Yet, I still love him. I felt like I was in the middle of a storm, not knowing which way was out. I had to choose a side, and in the end, I’m sitting here missing my dad. The same man who ripped my life to shreds, but I can’t fault him because my mom worked all the time. He was pretty much a single parent, we were lucky enough to have my Aunt Celeste, who would step in and help as much as possible. It’s comical how two sisters can be so different. My mom is a general surgeon. Back home she was the Chief of Medicine and ran the ER unit. She now runs the ER unit at the hospital in South Port. The one you were actually born at,” I chuckled, trying to break the tension in the air.
His stare never faltered. He just sat there patiently listening to every word, never interrupting me. I instantly looked down when I felt him gently place his hand on top of mine in the sand. It was a soothing gesture, reassuring. Maybe to show me he cared.
A little part of me…
Soared for the first time in months. A real connection was felt with another human being. With a boy who didn’t even know me.
“I’m by myself a lot. More than I should be at my age. My mom works more at the hospital here than she did back in California. Sometimes I think it’s easier for her to not look at me. I remind her too much of the man who broke her heart. A part of my father staring her in the face every time she looks at me.”
My eyes were still fixated on his hand that never left mine. In the dark, our hands were one, extensions of each other. His rough, calloused fingers were so comfortable resting over mine that I wanted to turn my hand over to feel him. When he reached over and lightly grazed the side of my cheek with his other hand…
Was I imagining this? Was this happening to me?
…his fingers moved to tug on the ends of my hair that framed my face. This simple yet meaningful gesture was the first crack on the wall I had built up against him. His knuckles grazed my cheek again, and I nervously licked my lips, peeking up at him through my lashes.
“Shit happens,” was all he said.
