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“Life.”
“What about it?”
“Did you come up here to be Chatty Kathy?”
I shrugged. “Maybe you need someone to talk to.”
“Someone? Or you?”
“Does it matter?”
“Not right now.”
“Jackson, I know we hate each other, but that don’t change the fact I’m a good listener. I don’t need to talk.”
“What do you want me to say, Harley?”
“I don’t know. You’re up here cryin’ by yourself, so you obviously got a lot to say.”
He narrowed his eyes at me, archin’ an eyebrow. “The night you ran to my mom’s room, the voices you thought you heard, was me. I put a walkie talkie under the mattress.”
My mouth dropped open and I punched him in the arm.
“You hit like a girl.”
I punched him again. “You dick! I haven’t been able to sleep in that room since.”
“I didn’t want you to sleep here in the first place.”
“Whatever. You were sleepin’ next to me when I woke up.”
“That’s cuz you’re a bed hog. There was nowhere else to go.”
“Then why were you in there, if you didn’t want me here?”
Not answerin’ my question, his gaze shifted upward as he leaned back. Layin’ completely down on the roof. I didn’t wait long to join him.
We stared up at the star-speckled sky, the moon shinin’ down on us, for I don’t know how long. I was surprised it wasn’t awkward between us like I thought it would be. Not that I was thinkin’ about bein’ alone with him or anythin’. The silence was comfortin’, probably cuz Jackson wasn’t openin’ his loud ass mouth and bein’ the bully he always was to me.
It felt… natural.
I lightly gasped when I felt his rough fingers press against mine, ever so slightly.
“School was one of the most important things to her, and she’s not even going to see me graduate. Take me to college like all the other annoying parents dropping off their kids. Crying that their babies are all grown up. I can picture it in my head, her standing there, waving goodbye with tears in her eyes, but it won’t ever happen for me. She’s gone and she’s not coming back,” he paused, collectin’ his thoughts. “Journey won’t remember her at all. Not her smell, not her touch, not the sound of her laughter or voice. She won’t even know her smile.”
“It always lit up a room,” I chimed in, tryin’ to ignore his calloused fingers startin’ to caress the back of my hand.
What was happenin’?
“I guess I should feel lucky I got the time I did with her, but I’m not. I’m fuckin’ pissed. I feel like I’ve been cheated. Like God’s playing some cruel joke on me for being so bad. What’s that saying? Karma’s a bitch? It’s not fair. None of this is fuckin’ fair.”
“You’re right. It’s not fuckin’ fair. No one deserves this. Not even you, Jackson.”
His fingers entwined with mine, and before I knew it, he was holdin’ my hand. I swallowed hard, pretendin’ like his touch wasn’t affectin’ me.
Why was he holdin’ my hand?
“You didn’t have to go up there today and share that memory, but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t glad you did. I’d forgotten about that night. Over the last five years, I feel like I’ve forgotten about a lot of things and it makes me think I’m losing my mind too.”
