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Then: Almost thirteen years old
Twenty-six weeks.
A hundred and eighty-two days.
Four thousand, three hundred and eighty hours.
Six months since my mom left us for Heaven.
In the wake of her death, our lives had changed in such drastic ways. Nothing was familiar anymore, not one damn thing. Our father was never around, drowning himself in work, leaving little time for anything else. Especially his kids. I couldn’t remember the last time I saw him walk through the front door, because he never came home.
Whatever was left of Aiden Pierce, our once family-dedicated dad, lived and breathed that fuckin’ hospital.
He didn’t give a shit about us anymore.
Not even the baby girl he’d always wanted.
It didn’t help that Noah and Skyler stepped in for him, taking care of his responsibilities. Explaining to us they’d promised our mom they’d be here for our family, or what was left of it anyway, in any way, shape, or form. It was like our mother already knew what was going to happen after she was no longer with us.
Fully aware our father would leave right along with her the day she took her last breath.
He did.
I didn’t know what was worse, assuming we were so easily forgettable or thinking he just couldn’t be near us at all. I always knew my mother was his everything, but I thought and believed we were a part of that too.
Journey didn’t even know his touch, his love, his devotion to give us everything. Never expecting anything in return. She had no idea who he was, which was sad in itself. He had yet to hold his own flesh and blood, his only daughter, in his arms. My baby sister lost both her parents all in the same day, and I hated that for her.
For my brother.
For me.
Jagger was becoming more reclusive than he normally was. He’d always been the quiet one, although now, you wouldn’t know he was around at all.
I spent more and more time with Journey, wanting to feel close to my mom. She was the spitting image of her with her bright blue eyes, button nose, and wavy brown baby hair. I’d sit with her in the rocking chair in the nursery and thank God everyday she was in our lives to begin with. Having a piece of our mother left behind helped take away the pain, the loss, the loneliness. That not only lived in our hearts, but in our home, which used to be filled with so much love and happiness.
Now, it was filled with nothing but emptiness and loss.
Skylar pretty much lived at our house day in and day out, fulfilling the role of our parent as best she could with having her own life and kids to take care of.
On top of that, she was expecting again. It didn’t surprise anyone when they announced it a few months ago. Noah couldn’t keep his hands off her.
It was only a matter of time until she could no longer meet the demands we needed, due to having a newborn of her own.
I was terrified of what would happen when that time came…
Would social services get involved? Would they take us away? Split us up? Would we be following in the same footsteps of our parents and be raised in the system too?
The questions were relentless.
If social services did fuck with us, I wouldn’t think twice about running away with them. At the end of the day, I’d fight for my siblings. No one would take them away from me.
They were all I had left.
“Bro, are you even listenin’?” Trigger asked, tearing me away from another one of my biggest fears.
“Mmm hmm…” I mumbled, walking beside him toward the bus after school.
“I was just sayin’ Friday’s game we sho—”
